LOS ANGELES—With her three wins last night finally putting her ahead of her greatest pop star rival, Taylor Swift surpassed Geppetto the Incredible Waltzing Horse on Sunday as the most-decorated artist in the history of MTV’s Video Music Awards. “This is truly an incredible achievement for Swift, who for years has been chasing the award total of the iconic master of prancing in three-quarter time,” said MTV spokesperson Morgan Banks, adding that the dozen trophies the 15-year-old stallion brought home in 2021 for his performance of Émile Waldteufel’s “Les Patineurs” seemed to put Geppetto’s award tally completely out of reach. “However—and not to diminish Taylor’s big night in the slightest—it is worth noting that Geppetto was sidelined for a significant amount of time with equine colic and also had his career put on hold due to a protracted conflict with his label. Who knows what he could’ve accomplished under different circumstances?” Sources close to Geppetto told reporters the horse would have graciously celebrated Swift’s accomplishment had he not tripped on the red carpet at last year’s VMAs and been humanely euthanized for a broken hoof.
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Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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