QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE, those lovable desert weirdos, are finally releasing that Catacombs thing everyone totally forgot about. Prepare yourselves for “Alive In The Catacombs,” a cinematic masterpiece (or, you know, just a video) dropping June 5th. Because who needs new music when you can repackage the old stuff in a slightly spookier setting? 💀
So, apparently back in July 2024, QOTSA decided to play dress-up and pretend to be goth for a day. “Queens Of The Stone Age: Alive In The Catacombs” is supposedly going to show us QOTSA like we’ve never seen them before. Yeah, right. I’m sure it’ll be Josh Homme doing his usual swagger thing, just with more bones in the background. They carefully curated a setlist (aka, played the same songs they always play) and “epically reimagined” them for the Catacombs. Translation: they probably slowed everything down and added some reverb. The result? An “unprecedented incarnation” of QOTSA. I’ll believe it when I see Josh Homme wearing a skull mask and playing a bone xylophone. 🦴 According to Josh, it was “the biggest audience we’ve ever played for.” Well, yeah, unless you count all the people who walked out of their last concert. 😂
For those who flunked history, The Catacombs Of Paris is a massive underground bone storage facility. We’re talking millions of bodies, people! It’s like the world’s creepiest family reunion. 👨👩👧👦 And QOTSA thought, “Hey, what better place to play our stoner rock than in a room full of dead people?” I mean, it’s not like the corpses are gonna complain about the song selection. 🤷
Apparently, Homme has been dreaming about this gig for 20 years. Twenty years! That’s a lot of time to fantasize about playing music for skeletons. 😴 The city of Paris, in their infinite wisdom, finally caved and let QOTSA desecrate…err… *perform* in the “sacred tunnels.” Good thing QOTSA are such law-abiding citizens. I’m sure they filed all the proper permits and didn’t, like, leave any beer bottles lying around. 😇
Some lady named Hélène Furminieux from Les Catacombes de Paris (sounds like a villain from a French cartoon) said some artsy-fartsy stuff about how the Catacombs are a “fertile ground for the imagination” and how Josh “felt in his body and soul the full potential of this place.” Oh, please. He probably just wanted a cool Instagram backdrop. 📸 She also mentioned the “subtle use of silence within the Catacombs.” Yeah, because that’s what everyone wants at a rock concert: more silence. 🤫
Every single decision, from the song choices to the instrument placement, was made with “deference to the Catacombs.” Right. I’m sure they consulted with the ghosts before deciding on the setlist. 👻 They even took into account the “acoustics and ambient sounds” like dripping water and echoes. So basically, it’s going to sound like they’re playing in a bathroom. 🚽 And the “darkly atmospheric lighting tones”? Probably just a bunch of flickering candles to make it look extra spooky. 🕯️ Far from the “comfort of onstage monitors,” QOTSA supposedly “embraced” the challenge. Yeah, the challenge of not tripping over a pile of femurs. 🦴
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
