Olive Garden announced the return of the Never-Ending Pasta Pass, giving pass holders 13 weeks of unlimited pasta for $100. What do you think?

“I try to get most of my calories in unlimited form.”
Johan Summers, Canvas Stretcher

“Yeah, but then they get you with the price of the coffin.”
Lou Cohen, Wire Coiler

“Wish I’d known before I bought Jiffy Lube’s never-ending pasta.”
Vera Darcy, Checkbook Designer
The post Never-Ending Pasta Pass Returns To Olive Garden appeared first on The Onion.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
