Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump is asking the Supreme Court to allow him to build a ballroom at the White House, citing previous threats to his life, national security needs, and architectural values. Because, you know, a ballroom is exactly what the White House needs to make it more secure. I mean, who needs a moat or a drawbridge when you can have a fancy dance floor?
The emergency request filed Friday comes after lower courts repeatedly ruled that Trump needed approval from Congress before moving forward with the $400 million project. I guess Trump thought he could just go ahead and build it anyway, because, well, he’s the president. But the courts are all, “Uh, no, buddy, you need to follow the rules like everyone else.”
The latest rebuke came last week, when an appeals court in Washington, DC, said the president lacked any authority to unilaterally pursue the planned ballroom and ordered him to stop work at the site of the former East Wing until lawmakers gave their blessing. But the court paused implementation of its decision for 14 days to give Trump time to appeal to the justices. Because, you know, the Supreme Court is just sitting around twiddling their thumbs, waiting for Trump to come to them with his latest scheme.
US Solicitor General John Sauer argued in the filing with the Supreme Court that the East Wing construction was “absolutely required “ for the president’s safety, noting the attempts that have been made on Trump’s life in recent years. Okay, I get it, security is important. But a ballroom? Really? That’s the best they’ve got?
The Trump administration argued Friday that the carveout the lower courts made for continued construction of the security bunker was not enough, and said the order “threatens the security and safety of the President.” Oh no, the president might not be safe without his fancy ballroom. Whatever will he do?
The case was brought last year by the National Trust for Historic Preservation, the nation’s top historic preservation group. Bless their hearts, they’re just trying to protect the White House from Trump’s, ahem, “unique” sense of style.
The DC Circuit Court of Appeals agreed on August 7 with a federal judge’s ruling directing Trump to halt work on the above-ground portions of the ballroom. Both rulings permitted construction of a highly sophisticated bunker under the ballroom to continue. Because, you know, a bunker is a totally normal thing to have under a ballroom.
The president has been personally involved in ballroom details, from floor plans to marble selection. The sprawling ballroom project has an estimated size of approximately 89,000 square feet, according to lead architect Shalom Baranes. By contrast, the primary White House structure, the Executive Mansion, is just 55,000 square feet. I mean, who needs a modest-sized mansion when you can have a ballroom the size of a small city?
Friday’s filing said the ballroom’s design had been inspired by the Supreme Court “and, in particular, its magnificent Corinthian columns — considered the highest column order in architecture.” Oh, great, because nothing says “security” like a bunch of fancy columns.
In conclusion, this whole thing is just a big mess. Trump wants to build a ballroom, the courts are all, “No, you can’t,” and now it’s up to the Supreme Court to decide. I’m sure it’ll all work out just fine, because, you know, the Supreme Court has nothing better to do than deal with Trump’s pet projects. And who knows, maybe the ballroom will be finished in time for Trump’s next big bash – a $400 million party favor, courtesy of the American taxpayers. 🎉
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
