Uncultured Philistine Declines To Have Ice Cream Served In Waffle Cone
TUCSON, AZ — Local man Dale Swanson declined to have his double scoops of mint chocolate chip and strawberry…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Kids Excited To Learn Of Cool Alternative To Vaping Called ‘Smoking Cigarettes’
U.S. — Teenagers across the nation are discovering a hip new alternative to vaping, called “smoking cigarettes.” U.S. —…
The Most Epic and Life Changing ‘Mandalorian and Grogu’ Reviews Just Dropped and Your Mind Will Be Blown Forever
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some epic news? 🚀👽 For the first time in seven years, there’s a…
Commencement Speaker Addresses Impenetrable Cloud Of Vape Smoke
The post Commencement Speaker Addresses Impenetrable Cloud Of Vape Smoke appeared first on The Onion. The post Commencement Speaker…
Study: Most Men Believe They Could Seduce Bear If Life Depended On It
DENVER—In an expression of overwhelming confidence in their innate animal magnetism, the majority of men who participated is a…
Millennial Figures Out How To Use ‘6-7,’ Signaling The End Of The Fad
FT. WORTH, TX — Local millennial Chad McCallister finally figured out how to appropriately use “6-7” in casual conversation,…
Disney Purchases Rights To ‘Robot Jox’ Franchise In Blockbuster $7 Billion Deal
BURBANK, CA — In a surprise movie, The Walt Disney Company announced that it had acquired the rights to…
‘The New York Times’ Updates Slogan To ‘All The News That’s Fit To Print Plus Any Rumor No Matter How Implausible’
NEW YORK, NY — The New York Times, one of the country’s most venerated newspapers, announced it was adapting…
Study Finds Neanderthals Performed Dentistry
A 59,000-year-old neanderthal tooth unearthed from a cave in modern-day Russia revealed the earliest known evidence of dentistry, with…
Hockey Ticket Holders Issued Refund After No Fights Break Out
ANAHEIM, CA — Disappointed hockey fans were issued a full refund for their tickets after zero fights broke out…