Category: The Onion

       SEVEN MILE BEACH, AUSTRALIA—In a shocking and violent scene that left the local marine mammal dead and dozens of…

       WASHINGTON—Despite protestations from the White House that the propulsion system was fully safe to operate, the Secret Service on Friday…

       WASHINGTON—Having been provided with a powerful reminder that legs were not merely for standing around on, millions of Americans…

       NEW YORK—Her eyes widening with horror as she took in the sight of the wrinkled hoodies and an upside-down…

       NEW YORK—Confessing total ignorance as to the origins of the mystifying ritual, FIFA admitted Friday it has absolutely no…

       Planned Parenthood regained access to federal funding for non-abortion care after a ban in the One Big Beautiful Bill…

       MAMANUCA ISLANDS, FIJI—In a revelation that prompted widespread calls for producers to remove him from the reality show’s villa, Love…

       The post DNC Vows To Replace Graham Platner With Establishment Rapist appeared first on The Onion.     Read More FinnFinn…

       Disney’s live-action remake of Moana comes to theaters this weekend, a decade after the original animated film was released.…

       WASHINGTON—Aiming to cut costs after a poor fiscal quarter, Washington National Opera general director Timothy O’Leary announced plans Monday…