Category: The Onion

       PEACH CREEK, KY—Taking an opportunity to firmly reiterate their stance that it weren’t their intention, America’s simple-minded bumpkins issued…

       After months of mounting pressure, the Democratic National Committee released a draft of its 2024 election autopsy report, which…

       LOS ANGELES—Reminding the mother-to-be that everything she did now could have consequences for her unborn child, local obstetrician-gynecologist Dr.…

       NEW YORK—Warning that curt greetings and aggressive demands could be a sign someone was a scammer, JPMorgan Chase officials…

       The post Tiger Woods Completes 12-Step AA Program In 9 appeared first on The Onion.    The post Tiger Woods…

       The Department of Justice filed charges, including murder and conspiring to kill U.S. nationals, against former Cuban President Raúl…

       SUN PRAIRIE, WI—Struggling feebly against the temptation to abandon the ethical standards he swore to uphold upon his election…

       The post OpenAI Announces Construction Of New Data Center On Top Of Sick Child appeared first on The Onion.…

       LOS ANGELES—Flashing her freshly manicured nails in a show of dominance, Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills cast member Kyle…

       LAS VEGAS—His body trembling as he gripped the support bar for dear life, rock climber Alex Honnold reportedly had…