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Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids

World’s First Wooden Satellite Launched Into Space

      

The inaugural Enhanced Games, consisting of weightlifting, swimming, and sprinting, were held, which allowed competitors to take performance-enhancing drugs in hopes of pushing the limits of human achievement. What do you think?

“Eat shit, indomitable human spirit—it’s drugs’ time to shine.”

Tony Skow, Recipe Auditor


“These are great role models for kids who don’t have time to work hard and apply themselves.”

Brenda Pool, Wire Spooler


“Let’s dispense with the human element and just see which drugs are strongest.”

Garrett Horvath, Unemployed

The post Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids appeared first on The Onion.

   The inaugural Enhanced Games, consisting of weightlifting, swimming, and sprinting, were held, which allowed competitors to take performance-enhancing drugs in hopes of pushing the limits of human achievement. What do you think?
The post Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids appeared first on The Onion. Read More

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