Category: The Onion

       Look, I get it. I’m a weakling. These scrawny arms and spindly legs have obviously never seen the inside…

       WASHINGTON—Decrying the un-American nature of any activity intended to provide amusement or the slightest bit of diversion, conservatives across…

       LOS ANGELES—As they stared intently at their phones and pretended not to notice the steady rhythm of smacks echoing…

       Starbucks is reintroducing tiers to its loyalty program as part of a bid to entice consumers to visit more…

       The post Pacers PA Announcer Just Muttering ‘Jesus Christ’ Over And Over appeared first on The Onion.    The post…

       WASHINGTON—Insisting the terminated worker had violated the terms of her employment by leaking highly sensitive information, the White House announced Monday…

       The post Groundhog Harassed By Dipshits In Stupid Hats appeared first on The Onion.    The post Groundhog Harassed By…

       The Onion asked K-pop’s biggest fans to explain their devotion, in their own words. “I’m just trying to behave…

       Poor ticket sales for Melania Trump’s documentary Melania have led to rescue efforts by the GOP that include buying…

       The post Rifle-Wielding Chair Umpire Asks Crowd If Making Noise During Australian Open Truly Worth Dying For appeared first…