METALLICA, those lovable dinosaurs of thrash 🦖, are apparently still touring. And get this, their “M72” tour, which sounds suspiciously like a new BMW model, is using…wait for it…Pixera media servers! From AV Stumpfl! Because, you know, nothing says “metal” like Austrian media server systems. This upgrade to their already MASSIVE video setup (because subtlety is for posers) promises an even MORE overwhelming visual experience. Eight 100-foot-tall towers?! 50×30-foot LED screens?! 24 discrete surfaces?! It’s like they’re trying to blind you into submission. All this “brainchild” (🙄) of one Dan Braun. We’re sure he’s very proud.
The “M72” tour, which started last year (because apparently they’re still relevant?) and draws, allegedly, 80,000 fans a night (probably bots, let’s be real), relies on “sophisticated technical infrastructure”. Cue the dramatic music. So, METALLICA switched to Pixera after some test at the SoundStorm festival (never heard of it, must be legit). According to Tom Denney, media server engineer (a job title I’m sure everyone aspires to), Pixera‘s “rendering capabilities” are “unmatched.” Yeah, because who needs good music when you can have fancy rendering? Apparently, these boxes can handle “up to two simultaneous Notch effects” without dropping frames. Two! TWOOOO!!! For a 38-camera setup. Thirty-eight! That’s like, one camera for every hair Lars loses each show 👨🦲.
David Leonard, media server programmer (because engineer wasn’t enough) and operator, agrees, calling Pixera version 25 “great.” Has anyone actually asked the fans if they care? Zero drops or restarts. Zero! The layer-based interface and “layer referencing” (whatever that is) make it easy to manage 50 different screen mappings per show. Fifty! Why not 500? Or 5,000? Maybe then people won’t notice the music sounds the same after 40 years. Leonard programs a timeline per song and then builds his cue list based on the band’s set for the evening. Because, you know, the band can’t even decide what they’re playing until five minutes before they go on stage. Talk about spontaneity! 😂
The Pixera system, consisting of eight servers (four main, four redundant), supports a “true one-to-one redundancy workflow.” Translation: They’re terrified of something going wrong. Which, let’s be honest, is probably a legitimate fear when you’re dealing with METALLICA-level production values. “The band and creative team prioritize reliability,” Denney says. Because nothing screams “rock ‘n’ roll” like “reliability.” Each tower gets a 4K signal (because 1080p is for peasants). The system’s 16-terabyte drives (upgradable to 60TB!) accommodate the tour’s 3.5TB content folder per show. That’s a LOT of explosions and CGI dragons 🐉.
The eight Pixera servers are part of six custom “barges.” Barges! I mean, come on. Fiber lines connect video village (because apparently, they’re building a small town) to the towers, which are, like, “hundreds of meters away.” “The barges cut our server and camera setup time to under an hour,” Denney boasts. Under an hour! The horror! Meanwhile, it takes me longer to decide what to have for breakfast 🍳. Pixera‘s Hub tool simplifies managing eight servers, from network configuration to fan speeds, making their workflow “incredibly efficient.” Efficient. The opposite of metal m/.
Video director Gene McAuliffe, who spearheaded the adoption of Pixera, praises its “creative potential.” Because apparently, throwing a ton of money at technology automatically makes you creative. “The system lets us play with perspective, wrapping visuals across multiple towers or isolating them for impact,” Leonard recalled from discussions with McAuliffe. So deep. The support from Pixera‘s team has been a “game-changer.” “From SoundStorm to now, their support is the best I’ve experienced,” Denney adds. Because customer service is the heart of rock. 🤘
On the recent 10-week U.S. run, Pixera supposedly empowered the “M72” tour to “push boundaries further,” blending cutting-edge technology with the “live energy METALLICA brings to every show.” Live energy? Is that what they’re calling it these days? Pixera feels “future-proof,” Leonard claims. We’re already planning to adapt these files for other shows. Because versatility is key when you’re selling out arenas to boomers 👵.
Formed in 1981, METALLICA is “one of the most influential and commercially successful rock bands in history,” with over 125 million albums sold worldwide. Known for their “electrifying live performances and innovative tours,” they continue to “redefine the concert experience.” Redefining it how? By making it more expensive and visually overwhelming? 😵
AV Stumpfl is an award-winning Austrian company specializing in “high-performance media server systems.” Their Pixera system is “trusted by top-tier productions worldwide.” So, there you have it. Metal + Austrian technology = the future of music 🎵.
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
