“The Chronology of Water” Trailer: Witness Kristen Stewart Direct Imogen Poots (and Probably Overthink It)
Oh, sweet baby Jesus, another artsy-fartsy film nobody asked for! The Chronology of Water, a cinematic masterpiece (according to who,…
Tag: movie news
“We Bury The Dead” Poster: Starring People You’ve Heard Of, Because Zombies Aren’t Enough
Oh, SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS! 🧟♂️ Another zombie flick? Because the world CLEARLY needed more of those! 🙄 Prepare yourselves for…
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Brain Exploded When They Tried to Reboot ‘Total Recall’ (Spoiler: It Was a Total Fail)
OMG, you guys! 🙄 Arnold Schwarzenegger, the guy who peaked in the ’80s and ’90s (no offense, Arnie ❤️), has…
Boogie Nights in 4K: Because You Haven’t Seen Enough Fake Penises
Wow, hold onto your hats, folks! Boogie Nights, that cinematic masterpiece (or, you know, just a movie) from 1997 by…
The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping Gets a Teaser Trailer (Finally, Something to Distract Us From Reality)
Oh, great, another Hunger Games movie 🙄. Because we *totally* needed more dystopian teen angst in our lives. Lionsgate, bless…
“Stargate: Prime Directive – Because Apparently Wormholes Weren’t Confusing Enough Already”
Amazon MGM Studios, in a move that absolutely NO ONE saw coming (🙄), has announced that they’re rebooting Stargate. Yes,…
“We Bury The Dead” – Prepare to Yawn as Daisy Ridley and Brenton Thwaites Battle Zombies (Again!) in This Trailer
Oh, JOY! Another zombie flick! 🙄 Because we *totally* haven’t seen enough of those already. Apparently, some catastrophic military oopsie-daisy…
Project Hail Mary: New Trailer Drops, Guaranteed to Confuse Even Book Readers
Oh, look, another movie adaptation of a book. 🙄 This time it’s *Project Hail Mary*, because apparently, Hollywood has run…
Popeyes Announces ‘Five Nights at Freddy’s 2’ Menu: Prepare to Get Spooked (and Probably Diarrhea)
Okay, so listen up, buttercups 💅. The *Five Nights at Freddy’s* franchise, that cinematic masterpiece of jump scares and animatronic…
James Cameron Still Clinging to ‘Alita’ Like Rose to That Door
OMG! 😱 James Cameron, the guy who brought us underwater CGI blue people and sinking ships, has apparently sworn a…