The ageless wonder, Stevie Nicks, 76 (yes, you read that right, boomers!), graced the Pollstar Hall of Fame with her presence and a shocking revelation: new music! After 14 long years, an eternity in pop star years (which, let’s be honest, are like dog years but with more Botox), she’s dropping a new album. Apparently, even rock goddesses get bored doomscrolling during wildfires. 🤷♀️
This musical masterpiece, dramatically dubbed “the ghost record” (because everything sounds cooler with “ghost” in front of it), was birthed not in a mystical realm, but in the decidedly un-rock-and-roll setting of a… *hotel room*. For 92 days! Nicks, trapped amidst the California inferno (nature’s way of saying “enough with the shawls, Stevie!”), apparently decided that staring at the four walls was less productive than, you know, making music. Who knew?
Imagine the scene: Stevie, surrounded by room service trays and probably enough chiffon to clothe a small country, suddenly realizing she’s not on tour (shocking, we know). No adoring fans, no twirling, no belting out “Rhiannon” for the millionth time. Just… silence. The horror! So, naturally, she decided to inflict more music upon the world. Bless her heart. ❤️
This upcoming album, still in the works (because even rock stars procrastinate), is Stevie’s first solo effort since 2011’s “In Your Dreams.” This time, she promises “autobiographical, real stories where I’m not pulling any punches for probably the first time in my life.” Translation: prepare for some serious tea-spilling, folks. ☕ We’re betting there will be at least one track about a magical shawl, a lost lighter, and a conversation with a mystical white owl. 🦉
And if that wasn’t enough excitement for one lifetime, Nicks will be touring with Billy Joel this summer. Yes, *that* Billy Joel. The Piano Man himself. Get ready for a double dose of boomer nostalgia at MetLife Stadium on August 8th. It’s like a retirement home talent show, but with better lighting and significantly higher ticket prices. 💰
So, there you have it, millennials and Gen Z. While you’re busy inventing new genders and avocado toast recipes, the boomers are still out here, making music and touring the world. They might need a nap afterward, but hey, who doesn’t? 👵👴 Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to practice our best interpretive dance to “Edge of Seventeen.” Don’t judge. 💃
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
