9 Things More Exciting Than Watching Golf
Thousands of people have gathered in Augusta, Georgia, this weekend to watch the Masters Tournament, with millions more set to…
Day: April 11, 2025
Get A Load Of This White-Knighting SIMP Saving A Princess From A Dragon
Get a load of this idiot white-knight SIMP trying to save a princess from a dragon. What a beta male!…
Texas Bans Sale Of Assault Rifles With Capacity Of Less Than 30 Rounds
AUSTIN, TX — In a landmark move for the state, the Texas legislature overwhelmingly passed a bill to ban the…
Ozempic User Explains How Weight Loss Changed The Way People Slapped Her Belly
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Ozempic User Explains How Weight Loss Changed The Way People Slapped Her Belly appeared first on…
Researchers Taste Miso Fermented In Space
Read MoreThe OnionScientists recently had the opportunity to taste a batch of “space miso” fermented for 30 days aboard the…
‘Man, People Are Going To LOVE Reading This One,’ Says Moses While Writing Leviticus
MOUNT SINAI — Hot off the success of Genesis and Exodus, Moses expressed confidence that everyone would love his follow-up…
China Trade War Update: Trump Classifies Panda Express As Domestic Terror Organization
U.S. — Following dueling tariff increases heading into the weekend, no end to the trade war between China and the…
🎤🍊 Pulp and Florida Juice: What Do Britpop Legends and Citrus Have in Common?
Britpop legends Pulp are making a comeback with their first album in 24 years — and it’s all thanks to…
Hush Falls Over Crowd After Bagel Tears ACL In Jumbotron Race
Read MoreThe OnionCHICAGO—Thousands of horrified Bulls fans reportedly gasped and shuddered Tuesday when a cartoon bagel tore his ACL in…
Sarah Miller
Read MoreThe OnionSarah Miller, 47, died happy when her claim that her son’s erratic driving was “going to get [them]…