Man Can’t Wait For America To Finally Be Great Again So He Can Stop Wearing Itchy Trucker Hat
TUSTIN, CA — Louis Silverton, a longtime supporter of President Trump, says he can’t wait for America to finally be…
Day: April 10, 2025
🍿 Popcorn, Tears, and Circle Pits: What Happened at the Minecraft Movie Screening in West Virginia?
In West Virginia, a screening of “A Minecraft Movie” turned into a chaotic scene more reminiscent of a metal concert…
U.S. Imposes Tariffs On Remote Island Of Penguins And Seals
Read MoreThe OnionThe U.S. Commerce Secretary defended the country’s decision to impose tariffs on Heard and McDonald Islands, an uninhabited…
Israelite King Would Just Once Like Prophets To Say God Is Pleased and Everything Is Dandy
SAMARIA — According to insiders, King Ahab of Israel lamented a recent meeting he had with the prophet Elijah, admitting…
Katy Perry Unaware She Already Chosen To Be Jettisoned If There Emergency In Space
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Katy Perry Unaware She Already Chosen To Be Jettisoned If There Emergency In Space appeared first…
Man Checks News To See Whether Retirement Account Bankrupt Or Has A Million Dollars
RICHMOND, VA — As part of a new morning routine, local man Reggie Hayes checked the news to see if…
NASA Rescues Children Stranded For 9 Months At Space Camp
Read MoreThe OnionHUNTSVILLE, AL—Confirming that the group’s long ordeal was finally over, NASA announced Thursday that it had successfully rescued…
White Sox Introduce New Premium Indoor Suites With No Windows So You Don’t Have To Watch The White Sox Play
CHICAGO, IL — Devoted White Sox fans were overjoyed last week to discover that Rate Field had just been fully…
Mother Extremists Hijack Airwaves To Broadcast Photos Of Their Children
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Demanding viewers look upon their precious offspring or suffer dire consequences, extremist parenting organization Mamas United reportedly hijacked…