When the news broke that Janet Jackson — yeah, that Janet Jackson, the one you only vaguely remember from some Super Bowl incident — was getting the Icon Award at the 2025 American Music Awards, Google Trends practically had a stroke. Searches spiked for things like “Who is Janet Jackson anyway?” and “Is she related to that guy with the glove?” 🤔
Let’s be clear: the American Music Awards aren’t exactly known for restraint. It’s the kind of ceremony that gives out trophies like party favors at a 7-year-old’s birthday. And now, in this glittery musical Hunger Games, Janet Jackson — 58 years old, still breathing, still booking stages — is back. With yet another award. Because, apparently, “icon” status doesn’t expire — even if the audience forgot you existed sometime around the invention of Spotify.
Janet Jackson’s best days ended in 2004
🎤 For the record, Janet isn’t just “Michael Jackson’s little sister,” though the Internet seems determined to remember her that way. She’s been in the game for over five decades, sold over 180 million records, won 11 AMAs, 5 Grammys, 2 Emmys, and got herself inducted into the freaking Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. She’s been breaking ground since before most TikTokers were even born — but does Gen Z care? LOL, no.
Online reactions to her award ranged from “legend!” to “I thought she retired in 2003” to “Wait, wasn’t she the one who flashed a boob with Justin Timberlake?” TikTok quickly filled up with explainer videos titled things like “Telling you who Janet Jackson is like you’re 12,” while the comments mostly said, “K grandma 🙄.”
That’s where we are, folks: the point in culture where if your music career peaked before Apple invented the iPod, you’re basically prehistoric. Today’s youth, raised on sped-up TikTok remixes and bedroom pop stars who record vocals in a closet, simply do not have the attention span to recognize a pop innovator who danced without autotune and wore more than just neon crop tops.
📺 The AMA 2025 ceremony will air live from Fontainebleau Las Vegas (yes, that’s a real place) on Monday, May 26, aka Memorial Day, at 8 PM ET / 5 PM PT. So while America’s enjoying a day off with burgers and beer, they’ll be blessed with Janet’s triumphant return — most likely introduced with a 3-minute sizzle reel and polite applause from confused millennials trying to remember whether she dated Jermaine Dupri or just collabed with him.
Oh, and the host of the night? Jennifer Lopez. That’s right. She still exists, too. And once again, the younger half of the population took to social media like, “Wait, who’s that?” Because apparently, anyone over the age of 40 is now filed under “unfamiliar NPC.”
It’s not just Janet’s award we’re roasting here — it’s the industry’s awkward obsession with pretending like it honors its legends while mostly marketing to 14-year-olds who think “Control” is just a PS5 button. The truth is, Janet Jackson paved the way for every modern female pop act — from Beyoncé to Britney — but now she’s remembered, at best, as “that one with the military jacket and the whispery voice.”
And yet, here she is. Still standing. Still performing. Still being fabulous in a way that TikTok filters will never replicate. And let’s be real — she’s survived worse than a confused search spike. This is a woman who endured the Super Bowl scandal, the media pile-on, the family drama, and the entire early 2000s. She came out of it with dignity, hits, and a wardrobe that still slays. Respect ✊
AMA 2025 isn’t really about the music. It’s about nostalgia, spectacle, and handing out shiny statues while pretending the industry hasn’t replaced artistry with algorithm-optimized hooks. But if we must hand an award to someone, at least Janet’s earned hers without resorting to lip-syncing over a trap beat in a fishnet bodysuit.
💡 Pro tip: if you’re under 25 and want to understand who Janet Jackson really is, put down the vape, unplug your LED keyboard, and listen to her album “Control.” You’ll hear an artist who spoke about independence, sexuality, social justice — back when it wasn’t a TikTok trend, but a career risk.
And yes, Jennifer Lopez is hosting. Yes, that Jennifer Lopez. If you’re still confused, just ask your mom. She probably danced to “Waiting for Tonight” while drinking wine coolers in a low-rise jeans era you’ll never understand.
So what have we learned here?
- Janet Jackson is still iconic, even if no one under 30 can explain why.
- The AMA still hands out awards like participation trophies.
- The Internet has the memory span of a goldfish.
- Jennifer Lopez is apparently immortal.
See you at the awards show. Or don’t. Janet doesn’t care — she already won.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
