Big Wreck Still Exists, Apparently, Releases Song Called ‘Believer’ (Whatever)
**Oh. My. Gawd. 🙄 It’s 2025 and apparently BIG WRECK is still a thing? Like, seriously? Did anyone actually ask…
Month: May 2025
Ys vs Trails: Prepare for the Crossover Nobody Asked For, But You’re Getting Anyway (Maybe) This Summer
Oh. My. Goodness. 🙄 Did Falcom REALLY think we wanted ANOTHER Ys game? Like, seriously? We get it, Adol is…
Zenless Zone Zero 2.0: Prepare for More Clouds (and Maybe Some Dawn, Eventually) June 6th
**OMG! 😱 *Zenless Zone Zero* is turning ONE! 🥳 Can you believe it? Another year of HoYoverse raking in the…
Konami Milks Nostalgia Cow Dry With “Totally New” MGS3 Intro (Spoiler: It’s Not)
Okay, Konami just dropped the “remade” Snake Eater opening for *Metal Gear Solid Δ: Snake Eater* (yes, they’re still calling…
DORO Drips Out Another Banger: “Warriors of the Sea” Will Cure Your Depression (Probably)
OMG! Doro Pesch, the self-proclaimed German metal queen (more like metal court jester, amirite? 😂), has graced us with a…
New FEMA Alert Notifies Public Whenever ‘Twister’ Airing On TNT
    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Predicting that the system would save countless Americans from missing an all-time classic, the Federal Emergency Management Agency…
EA Desperately Tries to Resurrect Another Corpse: Battlefront 2 Devs Beg for Second Chance at Ruining Star Wars
Okay, so apparently some dude who used to push pixels for Star Wars Battlefront 2 wants to “get the band…
OH GREAT ANOTHER ELDEN RING ADAPTATION, BECAUSE WE NEEDED MORE PAIN
OH. MY. GOD. 🙄 The geniuses at A24, the studio that brought you such cinematic masterpieces as… uh… *checks notes*……
Christian Nationalist Asks St. Peter To Direct Him To ‘Whites-Only’ Section Of Heaven
PEARLY GATES — According to Heavenly sources, Saint Peter had an unexpected run-in this week with a self-proclaimed Christian nationalist,…
Oh Great, Another One: Carey Mulligan Ruining Narnia, Probably
OMG! Greta Gerwig, fresh off her *Barbie* success (because apparently, that’s the only thing she’s ever done now), is apparently…