DORO, Queen of Leather & Surprisingly Buoyant Seafaring Anthems, Drops New Banger This Friday (Prepare to Be Seasick)
Okay, so apparently the “Metal Queen” Doro Pesch (who?) is dropping a new single called “Warriors Of The Sea” this…
Month: May 2025
Lies of P: Overture – We Played It So You Don’t Have To (But You Will Anyway, You Pinocchio Simps)
When I first glimpsed the trailer for Lies of P: Overture, my reaction was a symphony of *meh*. Seriously, where’s…
So You Wanna Get Lucky? (Without Actually Working, Obviously)
**OMG! 🙄 Prof. Dr. Christian Busch, a *bestselling author* (yeah, right!), is gonna tell us how to be LUCKIER!** He’s…
ProductCon NY: Come Watch “Product Leaders” Pretend to Know Things
**ProductCon: The conference where “product leaders” (lol) gather to discuss… building products. Groundbreaking! 🙄 Expect keynotes, panels, and buzzwords. Location…
Free Seminar: Learn to Love Your Money (Before It Leaves You)
OMG! 😱 Can’t manage your dinero? 💸 Is money controlling YOU? 🤡 Attend this “seminario” and learn to blame your…
Lou Koller FINALLY Admits He’s Not Dying (For Now)
Alright, listen up, ya bunch of whiny internet trolls! Lou Koller, the screechy frontman of those geriatric hardcore legends, SICK…
Disturbed Finds 110,897 People Who Still Own CD Players on “The Sickness” Victory Lap
Alright, metalheads and casual listeners (we see you!), let’s talk about DISTURBED and their groundbreaking, earth-shattering, life-altering (yeah, right) “The…