Burton C. Bell, Formerly of That Band You Kinda Remember, Drops Solo Single “Savages” to Remind You He Exists Next Week
So, Burton C. Bell, the guy who used to scream at robots 🤖 in Fear Factory (before they presumably unionized…
Month: May 2025
Randy Pitchford Wants $80 for Borderlands 4 — Gamers Are Literally Losing Organs
Randy Pitchford — magician, millionaire, CEO of Gearbox, and certified JPEG enthusiast — recently declared that “real fans will find…
Norm! Dies! The World Ends! (Just Kidding, It’s Only George Wendt, 76, No Biggie)
Hold onto your barstools, folks, because the big man, the legend, the *Norm* himself, George Wendt, has apparently kicked the…
AS I LAY DYING: The “We Swear We’re Not Still Canceled” European Tour 2025 (Maybe)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because your favorite band of reformed (debatable) metalcore mayhem, AS I LAY DYING, is back! And…
Faithful Dog Refuses To Move From Spot Where He Killed Beloved Owner
Read MoreThe OnionMINNEAPOLIS—Moved by the animal’s unwavering devotion, sources confirmed Wednesday that local 4-year-old cocker spaniel Biscuit refused to move…
No Tax On Tips Passes Senate Unanimously After Clarification That Bribes Can Count As Tips
WASHINGTON, D.C. — IN a rare display of full bipartisan support, President Donald Trump’s “No Tax On Tips” bill passed…
OMG! Sega’s “Totally Original” Switch 2 Lineup: Prepare for Mind-Blowingly Predictable Hilarity
Oh. My. God. The Nintendo Switch 2 is REAL, you guys! And apparently, Sega, yes, *that* Sega, the one that…
Gavin Rossdale’s Lyrical Genius (Finally) Unveiled: ‘I Beat Loneliness’ (Probably)
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because Gavin Rossdale from BUSH (yes, *that* BUSH) just dropped some profound wisdom on Baltimore’s 98…