Katy Perry’s Atomic Meltdown: Did a Fan Just Witness the Birth of Roar 2024?
Breaking News! Katy Perry, bless her heart (and her ticket sales), has apparently forgotten what a microphone is for and…
Month: May 2025
Donald Trump Is Secretly Writing Bad Reviews About Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, Bruce Springsteen, and Bono — And They’re Hilarious!
America has a new crisis. Not the economy. Not climate change. Not even the robots taking our jobs. No —…
Breaking News: Two Guys You Barely Remember From Anthrax Sing A Song You’ve Heard A Million Times
OMG! 😱 You will NOT believe what happened! Former ANTHRAX singers John Bush (you know, the guy who WASN’T Joey…
Oh GREAT, Another ‘Gears of War’ Movie, Just What the World Needed
Netflix, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), is STILL trying to make a ‘Gears of War’ movie happen. 🙄…
Stellar Blade 2: Electric Boogaloo Confirmed (Mostly, Kinda, Maybe, Ask Your Accountant)
BREAKING: Shift Up, Creators of the Game That Shall Not Be Named (Unless You’re Into That Sort of Thing), Confirm…
Relationship Experts Recommend Saying ‘I Love You’ Even If You Don’t Mean It
Read MoreThe OnionORLANDO, FL—Emphasizing that it’s just words, after all, a team of relationship experts issued a recommendation Thursday that…
STU BLOCK Begs BARLOW to Save ICED EARTH From Eternal Awkwardness
Breaking News! Former ICED EARTH throat-warbler Stu Block, the guy who left faster than Jon Schaffer could say “QAnon,” apparently…
Borderlands 4: Give Us All Your Money, You Pathetic Vault Hunter
So, apparently, some whiny “fans” are clutching their wallets tighter than a goblin guarding its gold because *Borderlands 4* might…
Bill Ward’s Back on the Airwaves? Oh, Joy
So, apparently, Bill Ward, yes, THAT Bill Ward, the one who wasn’t quite up to snuff for the “final” Sabbath…
Iron Maiden Demands You Stop Filming Their Concerts With Your Potato Phone (But We All Know You Won’t)
British heavy metal dinosaurs IRON MAIDEN, bless their geriatric hearts, are lumbering back onto the world stage with their “Run…