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Month: May 2025

P.O.D. Guitarist Declares Rock Fans Too Dumb to See Beyond Power Chords
Breaking

P.O.D. Guitarist Declares Rock Fans Too Dumb to See Beyond Power Chords

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Marcos Curiel from P.O.D. (Still a band?!) gave an interview where he basically said they’re musical geniuses who…

Razer Blade: Now So Thin It Can Cut You (and Your Wallet), So Smart It Judges Your Life Choices, and So Powerful It Can Barely Run Windows
Breaking

Razer Blade: Now So Thin It Can Cut You (and Your Wallet), So Smart It Judges Your Life Choices, and So Powerful It Can Barely Run Windows

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because Razer just dropped their “thinnest and most powerful” Blade laptop yet! 🙄 I’m sure it’s…

OMG! Corsair’s WILD SCIMITAR ELITE WIRELESS SE Now Controls Your Cat Videos With Elgato’s Help
Breaking

OMG! Corsair’s WILD SCIMITAR ELITE WIRELESS SE Now Controls Your Cat Videos With Elgato’s Help

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

Behold, peasants! At Computex 2025, the overlords at Corsair and Elgato, still clinging to relevance in this AI-dominated dystopia, have…

TECNO “Wearables”: Because Your Wrist Was Begging for More Plastic
Breaking

TECNO “Wearables”: Because Your Wrist Was Begging for More Plastic

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

Okay, hold onto your hats, folks, because TECNO just dropped a whole heap of “innovations” at Computex 2025 that are…

Josh Freese’s EXCLUSIVE List of “Top 10 Reasons” Foo Fighters REALLY Fired Him (Spoiler Alert: It Involves Dave Grohl’s Underwear)
Breaking

Josh Freese’s EXCLUSIVE List of “Top 10 Reasons” Foo Fighters REALLY Fired Him (Spoiler Alert: It Involves Dave Grohl’s Underwear)

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

Okay, so like, 🙄 Josh Freese, who apparently thought he was hot stuff, 🙄 has graced us with a list…

Within Temptation’s Sharon Promises Yet ANOTHER “New Sound” (We’ve Heard This One Before, Right?)
Breaking

Within Temptation’s Sharon Promises Yet ANOTHER “New Sound” (We’ve Heard This One Before, Right?)

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sharon Den Adel, the elven empress of symphonic cheese, just dropped a BOMBSHELL! 💣 Apparently, WITHIN TEMPTATION, those…

10 Jobs That Are Totally Safe From Being Replaced By A.I.
Babylon Bee

10 Jobs That Are Totally Safe From Being Replaced By A.I.

FinnMay 19, 2025

As artificial intelligence continues to evolve at a rapid rate, many people have found themselves wondering how far it will…

Kevin Spacey at Cannes: The Uncancelled King Returns With a Middle Finger in Each Hand
Cancelled? Not So Fast: Kevin Spacey Honored With Savage Awards at Cannes
Movie News

Kevin Spacey at Cannes: The Uncancelled King Returns With a Middle Finger in Each Hand

FinnMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

Cannes, May 20 — It finally happened. Kevin Spacey, the man Hollywood tried to erase harder than bad box office…

Kelly Clarkson’s “Where Have You Been” Lyrics: A Deep Dive (Into Obviousness) 😂🧐🤔
Breaking

Kelly Clarkson’s “Where Have You Been” Lyrics: A Deep Dive (Into Obviousness) 😂🧐🤔

Chuck B. BallsyMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

OMG! 😱 Kelly Clarkson, bless her heart, is back with a new single called “Where Have You Been,” and it’s…

Katatonia Drops New Emo Anthem “Temporal” From Their Album So Depressing It Makes NyQuil Look Like a Rave 🎉😴.
Breaking

Katatonia Drops New Emo Anthem “Temporal” From Their Album So Depressing It Makes NyQuil Look Like a Rave 🎉😴.

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sweden’s gloom merchants, KATATONIA, are BACK! And by “back,” I mean they’re releasing MORE music designed to make…

Posts pagination

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Latest posts

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  • The X-Files: I Want to Believe – Because the Original Made So Much Sense Let’s Reboot it with More Unnecessary Scenes and Call it a Director’s Cut Now with Extra Helpings of Fake Science and Overacting – Vrach Frankenshteyn Edition
  • Oh Joy, Brits Get to Finally Witness the Most Blasphemous Film Ever Made in the Comfort of Their Local Cinema with Ken Russell’s The Devils Descending Upon UK Theaters

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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