On June 11, the gaming world witnessed a miracle — or rather, a trainwreck — called MindsEye, the long-awaited action title from Build a Rocket Boy, led by none other than Mark Gerhard, co-founder and former Runescape exec. Marketed as the next big thing in open-world gaming — maybe even the next GTA — the game instead launched with a mind-blowing 3,302 concurrent players on Steam and a horrific pile of bugs. 🐞💥
What players got was not an action blockbuster but a surrealist comedy where your character sinks into asphalt, NPCs walk through walls like ghosts on a budget, and the framerate drops harder than Dogecoin after Elon tweets. 🎢💸 MindsEye may cost like a AAA title, but it plays like a corrupted Unity demo made by a sleep-deprived teenager during finals week.
Instead of apologizing or pushing out urgent hotfixes, the studio has pulled off a legendary PR maneuver: blaming the players. Yep — according to Build a Rocket Boy, today’s gamers are just too soft, too unskilled, and in some cases — straight-up hackers implanting bugs on purpose. 👨💻🧠
Mark Gerhard even went full conspiracy mode, claiming the game was the victim of a coordinated smear campaign. Because obviously, when your game is broken, the only logical explanation is a secret society of angry nerds colluding to tank your Metacritic score.
Who’s to Blame? YOU ARE! 🕵️♂️💥
When you’re stuck in the tutorial because a key item fell through the floor — it’s your fault. When your graphics card screams for mercy — it’s you, not the game. When a mission won’t start unless you walk backwards in the nude under a full moon — that’s clearly player sabotage. 🤷♂️
MindsEye Is the Disaster of the Year — GTA Creator’s New Game Crashes and Burns on Launch
Social media is flooded with videos of MindsEye imploding in real time. Glitched-out characters, mission-breaking bugs, bizarre physics, vanishing textures, and AI so dumb it makes Skyrim NPCs look like MENSA members. And every time someone posts a clip, Build a Rocket Boy tightens its tinfoil hat and mutters: “They’re trying to bring us down.”
Maybe their next patch will be called “Please Stop Hacking Our Game, We Don’t Know What We’re Doing”, or maybe “Fix_FINAL_real_one_ACTUALLYWORKS(pleaseGod).exe”.
Build a Rocket Boy Gaslights Its Fanbase 🚀🧠
Let’s be real — this isn’t just a buggy release. It’s a full-on PR psychodrama. Instead of facing the fact that they launched a $50 early-access tech demo disguised as a finished product, the devs are attacking their own audience like it’s Call of Duty lobby night.
Even indie disaster legends like The Day Before are shaking their heads. Because at least they didn’t accuse their players of being cyber-criminals working to sabotage their precious dreams. That’s a whole new level of delusion.
It’s like if Cyberpunk 2077 had launched, blamed the players for installing the game wrong, and then said “You just don’t understand our art.”
MindsEye Might Be the Cringe Game of the Year 💀
Honestly, MindsEye deserves an award — not for innovation, but for pure, unfiltered cringe. The writing is 2008-era awkward, the mechanics feel like a tech demo stapled together with Reddit threads, and the game-breaking bugs are somehow the only consistent feature.
But wait — it gets better. MindsEye is not labeled early access, beta, or test build. Nope, it’s marketed as a full release. Full price. Full pain. Full send into bug-hell. 🚽🎮
In a world where studios can no longer afford basic QA but can afford to blame their fans, MindsEye is leading the charge into a new frontier: gaslight-as-a-service.
What’s next? Will Build a Rocket Boy file lawsuits against Steam users for having the audacity to install the game? Or release a patch that disables the review section entirely?
At this point, nothing is off the table. The devs already think negative reviews are part of some gamer Illuminati plot to ruin their masterpiece. So buckle up — MindsEye might not be playable, but it sure is entertaining.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
