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Day: June 17, 2025

OMG, Lawmaker Has a Meltdown Over Being on Some Dude’s Totally-Not-Scary List
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG, Lawmaker Has a Meltdown Over Being on Some Dude’s Totally-Not-Scary List

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Another day, another unhinged leftist bites the dust! This Minnesota mess just proves what happens when you let the Democrats…

Welcome to the 24/7 Grind: Where Your Boss Owns Your Soul (and Your Evenings)
Elephant Reads CNN

Welcome to the 24/7 Grind: Where Your Boss Owns Your Soul (and Your Evenings)

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! According to CNN, those poor, oppressed workers are being forced to work long hours thanks to the…

Gunman Takes Huge Swing   Ordering Hostages Buffalo Chicken Pizza
The Onion

Gunman Takes Huge Swing   Ordering Hostages Buffalo Chicken Pizza

FinnJune 17, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionCHATTANOOGA, TN—In the midst of an armed bank robbery that authorities said is still ongoing, an unidentified gunman…

DHS U-turns: Now Serving Deportations with Your Farm-to-Table Salad and Motel Pillow Mint
Elephant Reads CNN

DHS U-turns: Now Serving Deportations with Your Farm-to-Table Salad and Motel Pillow Mint

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

More Whiplash from DHS! Apparently, even they’re struggling to keep up with the sheer genius of President Trump’s immigration policies.…

USA Spends Less, Blames Tariffs, World Laughs
Elephant Reads CNN

USA Spends Less, Blames Tariffs, World Laughs

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is now blaming President Trump for…checks notes…Americans buying too much stuff? Apparently, these socialists think you…

Jeff Scott Soto’s Hot Tip for Young Musicians: Get Schooled in Business or Prepare for Ramen Noodles
Breaking, Music News

Jeff Scott Soto’s Hot Tip for Young Musicians: Get Schooled in Business or Prepare for Ramen Noodles

Chord F. DiscordJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

In a recent chin-wag with Brazil’s Rádio Kiss FM 92.5, that dude Jeff Scott Soto – you know, the guy…

Iran Starting To Regret Putting ‘Ol’ Blind Mohammed’ In Charge Of Aiming All The Missiles
Babylon Bee

Iran Starting To Regret Putting ‘Ol’ Blind Mohammed’ In Charge Of Aiming All The Missiles

FinnJune 17, 2025

TEHRAN — As yet another massive bombing attack from Israeli forces rained down on the Iranian capital after the most…

Trump’s SHOCKING G7 Exit: CNN Reporter Gets the REAL Reason (You Won’t Believe It!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s SHOCKING G7 Exit: CNN Reporter Gets the REAL Reason (You Won’t Believe It!)

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Our glorious leader Trump, back from hobnobbing with globalist elites at the G7, faced the fake news media head-on! CNN’s…

JPMorgan Sapphire Card: Now 45% More Expensive to Impress People You Don’t Even Like
Elephant Reads CNN

JPMorgan Sapphire Card: Now 45% More Expensive to Impress People You Don’t Even Like

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! JPMorgan Chase, bending to the woke mob, is hiking the annual fee on its Sapphire Reserve card…

Witness: LAST IN LINE’s ANDREW FREEMAN Butchers AC/DC Anthems With Cover Band in Sin City
Breaking, Music News

Witness: LAST IN LINE’s ANDREW FREEMAN Butchers AC/DC Anthems With Cover Band in Sin City

Chord F. DiscordJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

OMG! 😲 On June 12, some dude named Andrew Freeman, who sings for LAST IN LINE (never heard of ’em),…

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Latest posts

  • More Overhyped Shows And Movies To Make You Forget You Have Responsibilities And A Social Life In June 2026
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  • DAVID DRAIMAN Claims DISTURBED’s New Songs Are So Groundbreakingly Original You’ll Forget They’re The Same Band That’s Been Playing The Same Riff For 20 Years
  • Blue Moon because who needs actual moonwalking skills when you can just trudge through a marsh in Scarborough
  • Overpriced Raw Fish and Questionable Life Choices Await at The Sushi Social Bites Bottles

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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