Oh honey, hold onto your wigs! 💅 Glenn Close and Billy Porter, the icons we didn’t know we needed, are slumming it in the new ‘Hunger Games’ prequel, ‘Sunrise on the Reaping’. I guess even legends need a paycheck, right? 😉 Jhaleil Swaby, who? Oh, apparently she’s playing someone named Panache. Sounds about white. 🙄 Francis Lawrence is back to direct, because apparently, Lionsgate hasn’t learned their lesson from the last snooze-fest. 😴
So, the cameras are rolling, darling, and the casting announcements just keep coming. Glenn Close is Drusilla Sickle. 🤨 Billy Porter is Magno Stift. 🤣 These names are just *chef’s kiss* perfection. Jhaleil Swaby (from ‘The Lake’, which I’m sure you’ve all seen 😉) is Panache. I’m already bracing myself for the inevitable memes. 💀
Nina Jacobson is gushing about Glenn Close. “Dream Drusilla”? Girl, please. Glenn Close could play a sentient toaster and make it iconic. 🙄 As for Porter, apparently, he can “dazzle and devastate.” More like dazzle with those outfits and devastate my bank account. 💸
But wait, there’s more! Ralph Fiennes is back as Coriolanus Snow, because we haven’t seen enough of that character. 🙄 Maya Hawke is Wiress, because nepotism is alive and well in Hollywood. 🤷♀️ Lili Taylor is Mags, because why not? And Ben Wang is Wyatt Callow, because representation matters… I guess? 🏳️🌈
McKenna Grace is Maysilee Donner, because apparently, every young actress in Hollywood needs to be in this franchise. 🙄 Jesse Plemons is Plutarch Heavensbee, stepping into Philip Seymour Hoffman’s shoes. Good luck with that, honey. 😬 Kieran Culkin is Caesar Flickerman, because why not cast everyone who’s ever won an award? 🏆
Drusilla Sickle is the cruel escort to the District 12 Tributes, because we needed more cruelty in this already bleak world. 🙄 Magno Stift is her estranged husband and the Tributes’ uninspired designer, because someone has to design those hideous outfits. 🤮 Panache is a crude and aggressive career tribute from District 1, because stereotypes are fun! 😂
Suzanne Collins is talking about David Hume and propaganda. Girl, just cash the check and go home. 😴 Adam Fogelson is saying that Suzanne Collins is a “master storyteller.” Sure, Jan. 🙄
‘The Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping’ is coming to theaters on November 20th, 2026. Mark your calendars, if you’re into that sort of thing. 📅
And of course, you can buy ‘The Hunger Games’ movies on Amazon. Because capitalism. 🤑
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
