LOS ANGELES, California — In an industry where everything must be inclusive—except common sense, a new scandal has brewed around 67-year-old gangsta rap legend and actor Ice-T, who has been politely (and then not so politely) asked to change his “problematic” stage name by the producers of the upcoming blockbuster “ICEbreaker: The Final Deporter.” 😬🧊
The movie, in which Ice-T plays a hardened border agent battling international crime on the U.S.–Mexico–Canada superborder of the future, sparked concern not for its explosive plot — but because his name sounds too much like ICE, the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency. 😱⚠️
“This is outrageous! ICE is oppression! And Ice-T is a trigger!”
tweeted @SocialJustice_Goblin.
“Is he glorifying deportations? Or just pushing cold drinks? We demand clarity!” 🍵
In a panic to prevent the film from being canceled before the trailer drops, studio WokeWarner Ultra submitted a list of “less aggressive” names for the rapper:
- Herbal-T,
- Mild Beverage,
- RoomTemp-HipHop,
- and even DJ Decaffeinated. ☕
Ice-T responded with trademark chill:
“Y’all need to fix how you name bathrooms before you mess with my name, clowns.” 😎❄️
“ICEbreaker: The Final Deporter” (leaked plot alert!) is set in the year 2044, where America has erased all borders and only one man still believes in law and order — a retired rapper-turned-border cop named Marcus “ICE” Hunt. His mission: deport everyone who can’t make tacos properly. 🌮💣
The premiere has been pushed to 2026 to give activists time to cool off — and Ice-T, time to write a diss track. Rumor has it the hook goes:
“I’m ICE, not ICE, so chill the f* out.”** ❄️🎤
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
