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Month: June 2025

IRS Allows Taxpayers To Deposit Payments Directly Into Elon Musk’s Bank Account
The Onion

IRS Allows Taxpayers To Deposit Payments Directly Into Elon Musk’s Bank Account

FinnJune 7, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—As part of ongoing efforts to improve the efficiency with which it collects money for the world’s richest…

Simone Biles Calls For All Female Athletes To Just Give Up Like She Did
Babylon Bee

Simone Biles Calls For All Female Athletes To Just Give Up Like She Did

FinnJune 7, 2025

U.S. — Professional gymnast Simone Biles called on social media today for female athletes to stop trying to beat male…

GUNS N’ ROSES Announce Fall 2025 Tour Dates (Get Ready to Wait, Again)
Breaking, Music News

GUNS N’ ROSES Announce Fall 2025 Tour Dates (Get Ready to Wait, Again)

Chord F. DiscordJune 7, 2025June 6, 2025

OMG! 😱 Guns N’ Roses, those geriatric rockers 👴🎸, are apparently still alive and kicking (or at least, attempting to).…

PARADISE LOST Announces New Album ‘Ascension’ (Because ‘Descension’ Was Too Mainstream), Shares ‘Silence Like The Grave’ Single (Prepare to Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

PARADISE LOST Announces New Album ‘Ascension’ (Because ‘Descension’ Was Too Mainstream), Shares ‘Silence Like The Grave’ Single (Prepare to Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordJune 7, 2025June 6, 2025

PARADISE LOST, those lovable dinosaurs of British gothic metal (yes, they’re still around!), are dropping their 17th album, “Ascension”, on…

KREATOR Releases Trailer for Utterly Riveting (Not!) Documentary ‘Hate & Hope’
Breaking, Music News

KREATOR Releases Trailer for Utterly Riveting (Not!) Documentary ‘Hate & Hope’

Chord F. DiscordJune 7, 2025June 6, 2025

OMG! 😱 A trailer for the most epic, totally-not-overhyped documentary about German thrash metal legends, KREATOR, entitled “Kreator – Hate…

DIRKSCHNEIDER & GERIATRIC CREW Drops Schmaltzy New Single And Eye-Bleeding Video ‘Hellbreaker’
Breaking, Music News

DIRKSCHNEIDER & GERIATRIC CREW Drops Schmaltzy New Single And Eye-Bleeding Video ‘Hellbreaker’

Chord F. DiscordJune 7, 2025June 6, 2025

DIRKSCHNEIDER & THE OLD GANG (DATOG), because acronyms are cool 😎, the project featuring former ACCEPT members Udo Dirkschneider (vocals,…

Toxic Relationship: A Love Story
Events

Toxic Relationship: A Love Story

Chuck B. BallsyJune 7, 2025

Till Toxic Do Us Part! 🤣 Prepare for a night of epic fails! 06/08/25, 5:30pm, Frank And Katrina Basile Theater.…

Chingo Bling Invades Fresno: Prepare for the Spicy Apocalypse, June 7, 2025
Events

Chingo Bling Invades Fresno: Prepare for the Spicy Apocalypse, June 7, 2025

Chuck B. BallsyJune 6, 2025

OMG! 🙄Chingo Bling, the *cough* “comedian,” is gracing us with his presence! 🎉 Rapper, actor, producer… yeah, right. 🤣 He…

LEGO One Piece Sets: Netflix Collab Nobody Asked For
Breaking, Games News

LEGO One Piece Sets: Netflix Collab Nobody Asked For

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 6, 2025June 6, 2025

Ah, yes, the Blue Sea…or should we say, the Blue-tiful cash grab 💰! LEGO, in its infinite wisdom (or lack…

Volbeat Drops New Single ‘Demonic Depression’ – Is This Their Darkest Tune Yet (Or Just Another Tuesday)?
Breaking, Music News

Volbeat Drops New Single ‘Demonic Depression’ – Is This Their Darkest Tune Yet (Or Just Another Tuesday)?

Chord F. DiscordJune 6, 2025June 6, 2025

VOLBEAT, those Danish rockabilly dudes who still think it’s 2005, have dropped a music video for “Demonic Depression”. Yes, you…

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2025
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