Lies of P: Overture Trailer Leaked—More Ways to Beat Up Puppets, DLC Might Sneak Out at SGF 2025 (Maybe)
Ah, Summer Game Fest 2025, the glorious dumpster fire 🔥 of hype and disappointment we all pretend to love! And…
Month: June 2025
Rent Taylor Swift’s Swanky NYC Crib – Hope You Can Afford More Than Just ‘Teardrops on My Guitar’
OMG! 🤩 Wanna throw away $50,000 a month to rent a place where Taylor Swift *used* to breathe? 🏡 This…
🇺🇸 Tim Lambesis Is Back on Tour — Because Only Terrorist Russia Will Book Him 💀🤡
Remember Tim Lambesis? The As I Lay Dying frontman who once tried to hire a hitman to kill his wife,…
Cow Slaughtered For Its Bell
Read MoreThe OnionMEADE, KS—Saying the difficult act was necessary so his family wouldn’t be starved for clangs, local farmer Troy…
Airbourne Burps Out First “New” Song In Six Years, Still Sounds Like AC/DC
AIRBOURNE, those lovable Aussie larrikins who haven’t had an original thought since 1975, are back with “Gutsy,” their first new…
Daron Malakian and Scars on Broadway Drop a New Album After a Century, Prepare to be ‘Addicted To The Violence’ or Not, Whatever
Fresh off the heels of SYSTEM OF A DOWN’s triumphant sold-out South American stadium tour (you know, the one where…
Red Bull’s Tetris Tournament: Sign Up and Prepare to Lose Horribly
Okay, so apparently, it’s World Tetris Day. 🎉 I didn’t even know that was a thing. But hey, who am…
Beyonce’s Booboo: Did the Bey-Hive Get a Free Show
**Bow down, peasants! 👑 Our benevolent Queen Bey, in her infinite wisdom and grace (and questionable fashion choices, let’s be…
Belinda Carlisle, Aging Pop Icon, Desperately Clings to California Relevance with Yet Another Album No One Asked For
Belinda Carlisle, bless her heart, is apparently still at it. She’s dropping a new album called Once Upon A Time…
In Flames at Mystic Festival, Gdansk, Poland (06/05/2025)
Swedish melodic death metal! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,”…