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Month: June 2025

Senate Parliamentarian: The Unsung Hero (or Villain?) Wrecking Trump’s Totally Awesome Agenda, According to CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Senate Parliamentarian: The Unsung Hero (or Villain?) Wrecking Trump’s Totally Awesome Agenda, According to CNN

Big ElephantJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

Oh, the Deep State shenanigans never end! CNN is reporting that Republicans are upset with Senate Parliamentarian Elizabeth MacDonough because…

Trump’s Supreme Court Victory: Unleashing the Kraken of Presidential Power
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Supreme Court Victory: Unleashing the Kraken of Presidential Power

Big ElephantJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re whining because our glorious President Trump is too powerful. Cry more,…

DOJ hilariously dumps 3 stooges from Jan 6 circus, MAGA tears ensue
Elephant Reads CNN

DOJ hilariously dumps 3 stooges from Jan 6 circus, MAGA tears ensue

Big ElephantJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

Oh, the Deep State is getting a taste of its own medicine! Trump’s Justice Department is cleaning house, firing the…

Gayming Awards 2025: So Gay It’s Illegal (Probably) Announces Host and Future Overlords for July 8
Breaking, Games News

Gayming Awards 2025: So Gay It’s Illegal (Probably) Announces Host and Future Overlords for July 8

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

OMG, mark your calendars, fellow gamers! 🗓️ The Gayming Awards 2025, the *only* LGBTQ+ video game award show (because apparently,…

ZETRO the Party Pooper: Fired for Being a Debbie Downer in EXODUS, Claims Gary Holt
Breaking, Music News

ZETRO the Party Pooper: Fired for Being a Debbie Downer in EXODUS, Claims Gary Holt

Chord F. DiscordJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

So, EXODUS guitarist Gary Holt, bless his little heart, did an interview with some Serbian journalist, Jadranka Janković Nešić (who?),…

US Airlines Hacked: Is Your In-Flight WiFi Safe?
Elephant Reads CNN

US Airlines Hacked: Is Your In-Flight WiFi Safe?

Big ElephantJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is reporting that some “cybercriminal group” called “Scattered Spider” (probably funded by George Soros) has been…

Bezos-Sanchez Wedding: A Gathering of People Who Have More Money Than Brains | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Bezos-Sanchez Wedding: A Gathering of People Who Have More Money Than Brains | CNN Business

Big ElephantJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

Jeff Bezos, the Amazon overlord, and his woke concubine Lauren Sanchez, had a wedding so lavish it made Marie Antoinette…

Driving Surges In Popularity Thanks To ‘F1’ Film
The Onion

Driving Surges In Popularity Thanks To ‘F1’ Film

FinnJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Coinciding with a spike in interest in cars and moving fast, a trend report published Friday by…

Bad Sign? Trump Shoots Lightning from His Fingertips While Screaming ‘Unlimited Power!’ After Latest SCOTUS Ruling
Babylon Bee

Bad Sign? Trump Shoots Lightning from His Fingertips While Screaming ‘Unlimited Power!’ After Latest SCOTUS Ruling

FinnJune 28, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In what some are taking as perhaps a bad omen, President Trump responded to the SCOTUS ruling…

“They Didn’t Break Me,” Says Person Who Was Totally Broken, Probably
Elephant Reads CNN

“They Didn’t Break Me,” Says Person Who Was Totally Broken, Probably

Big ElephantJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

Another day, another “hero” emerges from the clutches of a “dictatorship,” conveniently timed to bash a regime that doesn’t bow…

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Latest posts

  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Traffic Jam of the Year at 2026 FuelFest Bay Area
  • Because Hackers Love Homework Too Let’s Strengthen K-12 Cybersecurity Already
  • Media Molecule’s Next Game Will Probably Be a Reboot of Knack with a Battle Royale Mode and a Subscription Service
  • Logitech Finally Creates Products That Won’t Give You Carpal Tunnel After 5 Minutes Of Use Maybe
  • MARK MORTON Still Shocked Nobody Has Copied LAMB OF GOD’s Unique Sound After Only 25 Years of Being Totally Original and Not At All Influenced by Anyone Else

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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