Another day, another disaster, probably caused by those darn liberals and their climate change hoaxes! Now, Nebraska gets hit by a storm? You know who’s really behind it? China, trying to weaken our heartland with their weather manipulation tech!
A woman died after a tree fell on her car – probably a Biden voter, if you ask me. And some guy got injured? He’s probably gonna sue everyone and blame Trump somehow.
And get this, the storm “displaced” hundreds of inmates! Displaced! As if they’re refugees! They’re criminals! Lock ’em up tighter, I say! Maybe this was a Soros-funded plot to let them loose and unleash chaos?
Oh, and Wisconsin got some wind too. Probably just a bunch of snowflakes being blown away. This whole thing just proves we need more coal, more oil, and a bigger wall to keep the bad weather out! Trump will fix this; he always does!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
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