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Day: August 12, 2025

World’s Biggest Moneybags Dumps Israeli Stocks Like They’re Hot Potatoes: Gaza Shenanigans Edition
Elephant Reads CNN

World’s Biggest Moneybags Dumps Israeli Stocks Like They’re Hot Potatoes: Gaza Shenanigans Edition

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Oh, Norway, Norway, always sticking your socialist nose where it doesn’t belong! Seems like Norway’s $2 trillion sovereign wealth fund…

Aerosmith’s Joe Perry Dumps Old Drummer, Finds New One Behind the Kit for Upcoming THE JOE PERRY PROJECT Tour
Breaking, Music News

Aerosmith’s Joe Perry Dumps Old Drummer, Finds New One Behind the Kit for Upcoming THE JOE PERRY PROJECT Tour

Chord F. DiscordAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

OMG! 😱 Another band member bites the dust! 💀 Apparently, STONE TEMPLE PILOTS’ resident stickman Eric Kretz has decided that…

CNN’s August 12th Rundown: DC Goes Wild, Gaza’s Still There, Food Stamps for All, Austin’s Wild West!
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s August 12th Rundown: DC Goes Wild, Gaza’s Still There, Food Stamps for All, Austin’s Wild West!

Big ElephantAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

Folks, CNN is at it again, trying to make sense of the world through their liberal, anti-Trump, America-hating lenses. But…

Rise Against Vomits Out Another Anthem: ‘Ricochet’ Music Video Now Available For Your Disappointment
Breaking, Music News

Rise Against Vomits Out Another Anthem: ‘Ricochet’ Music Video Now Available For Your Disappointment

Chord F. DiscordAugust 12, 2025August 12, 2025

RISE AGAINST, those purveyors of whiny sing-alongs disguised as ‘punk rock,’ have graced us with a new single, “Ricochet,” from…

Ty Johnston-Chavis’s “Pitch Perfect” Masterclass: AKA How to Annoy People With Your Voice
Events

Ty Johnston-Chavis’s “Pitch Perfect” Masterclass: AKA How to Annoy People With Your Voice

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 12, 2025

Join the Masterclass with Ty Johnston-Chavis to learn how to bore your audience to tears! 🤡 In-person event at 55…

How Deep Is Your Love (For Data Mining)
Events

How Deep Is Your Love (For Data Mining)

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 12, 2025

**OMG! 🙄 Film buffs, mark August 16th! Brooklyn Army Terminal, 80 58th Street, Brooklyn, NY 11220. Doors at 7:00 PM,…

Gay Movie Night: Prepare to be Bored
Events

Gay Movie Night: Prepare to be Bored

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 12, 2025

Oh, look, another “film studio” (🙄) called STArt Film Studio is gracing Seattle with its presence. They’re a “non-profit” (suuure…

Rhett & Link’s Wonderhole Season 2: Prepare for Disappointment
Events

Rhett & Link’s Wonderhole Season 2: Prepare for Disappointment

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 12, 2025

Mythical Beasts assemble! 🤪 Rhett & Link are gracing Regal Theater, Los Angeles, August 16 for Wonderhole Season 2 Premiere!…

Long Island Iced Tea Party 2025: Fake Tan, Real Hangover
Events

Long Island Iced Tea Party 2025: Fake Tan, Real Hangover

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 12, 2025

BOOK YOUR HOTEL ROOMS FOR TROPIC CON 2025 HERE Prepare for the ultimate showdown of mediocrity! Tropic Con is HERE!…

Pride? More like PRIDE-AGANDA! Fantasia Royale Gaga Serves Up Sass and Scrambled Eggs
Events

Pride? More like PRIDE-AGANDA! Fantasia Royale Gaga Serves Up Sass and Scrambled Eggs

Chuck B. BallsyAugust 12, 2025

OMG! 😱 Dragula’s Fantasia Royale Gaga is gracing Ink N Ivy with her presence! 💅 Get ready for a Pride…

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Latest posts

  • ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae
  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry
  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins
  • Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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