5 Things 2 Know on 9/9: Pedo Papers, iCrap Unveiling, Sherpa Tantrums, Hon Hon Hon Gov’t Go Boom, Sandpit Fireworks
Another day, another dollar wasted on socialist nonsense instead of MAGA! CNN’s “5 Things” is back, and predictably, it’s filled…
Month: September 2025
Girl Scout Cookies: Now With Even MORE Questionable Ingredients
Looks like the woke Girl Scouts are at it again, pushing their leftist agenda with a new “Exploremores” cookie. What’s…
Missouri GOP Hilariously Tries to Erase Democrats from Existence with New Map
Well, well, well, look what we have here! The radical left, terrified of the MAGA wave, is whining about Republicans…
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Morphs into Methuselah for New Flick, Sheds 3 lbs of Pure Muscle
So, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, bless his heart 🙄, is apparently shedding his mountain of muscle 💪 to morph into…
Ben & Jerry throw ice cream tantrum at Big Bad Unilever
Oh, those woke warriors at Ben & Jerry’s are at it again! Seems they’re throwing a temper tantrum because Unilever…
Spinal Tap’s Earth-Shattering Return to Kimmel After a Whopping 15 Years (Finally)
SPINAL TAP, those legends who peaked in the ’80s and have been desperately clinging to relevance ever since, graced the…
Emperor, Mortiis, and Faust to Grace the Stage at 2026 BEYOND THE GATES Festival: Prepare for the Most Trve Kvlt Reunion of All Time (Maybe)
Ah, BEYOND THE GATES! The festival so metal, it makes Vikings weep with joy… or maybe it’s just the lutefisk.…
Van Jones accuses right wing of turning tragic light rail murder into racial circus
Another day, another leftist apologist downplaying the REALITY! Van Jones, still employed by Fake News CNN, claims the brutal stabbing…
CNN Business: Get Ready for More Employment Data Revisions (LOL, They’re Always Wrong)
Another day, another Deep State attempt to undermine our glorious President Trump! CNN, still peddling fake news, is hyperventilating about…
“The Conjuring: Last Rites” Beats “It” at the Box Office, but Roger Ebert’s Ghost Isn’t Having It
“The Conjuring: Last Rites” has officially become the highest-grossing horror movie ever, raking in a jaw-dropping $194 million worldwide. The…