WASHINGTON—In an effort to manage the American people’s expectations, officials at the National Association for Business Economics announced Wednesday that they hoped your heart wasn’t set on a house. “We’re not saying it’s impossible—we’re just saying you might want to consider keeping your options open,” said Jeffrey Birney, an economics professor at Georgetown University, who acknowledged that while, from a theoretical perspective, a three-bedroom, two-bathroom home would “be nice,” the economists didn’t want the nation to be disappointed if things didn’t turn out as expected. “There are so many other places you could live: an apartment, the basement or living room of a friend or family member, an RV, or even a roomy car. It would just be heartbreaking if that’s what your little savings account turned out to be for. Oh jeez, don’t tell us that’s really what it’s for.” At press time, economists were gently encouraging Americans to focus on food.
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WASHINGTON—In an effort to manage the American people’s expectations, officials at the National Association for Business Economics announced Wednesday that they hoped your heart wasn’t set on a house. “We’re not saying it’s impossible—we’re just saying you might want to consider keeping your options open,” said Jeffrey Birney, an economics professor at Georgetown University, who
The post Economists: Hope Your Heart Wasn’t Set On A House appeared first on The Onion. The OnionRead More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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