🚨 ATTENTION ADULTS WHO STILL THINK FIREWORKS ARE COOL 🚨 The Sheraton Denver Downtown Hotel is hosting a *very fancy* NYE bash where rich people will sip $18 cocktails and pretend they love jazz. Open bar? ✅ Hors d’oeuvres shaped like tiny food? ✅ Live band called “The Tracers” (yes, really)? ✅ Watch 16th Street fireworks… through a window… while paying $200+ for the privilege! Dress code: “I own at least one blazer.” Don’t bother showing up at the door—tickets are “pre-sale only” because regular humans aren’t allowed. More info: WWW.NYENIGHTDENVER.COM 🍸🥂🍾 #RichPeopleProblems #DenverNYE #SendChampagneInsteadOfTherapy
Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
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