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Day: January 17, 2026

South Florida Strawberry Festival 2026: Now With 50% More DeSantis and 100% More Crowded Parking
Events

South Florida Strawberry Festival 2026: Now With 50% More DeSantis and 100% More Crowded Parking

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 17, 2026

Get ready to panic-buy tickets for the South Florida Strawberry Festival in Boca Raton on January 17, 18 & 19,…

Hold My Hamberder: Why Trump Can’t Nuke Election Day (He’s Too Busy Doing This Weird Thing) | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hold My Hamberder: Why Trump Can’t Nuke Election Day (He’s Too Busy Doing This Weird Thing) | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJanuary 17, 2026January 17, 2026

**TRUMP PLAYfully TROLLS FAKE NEWS MEDIA BY ‘JOKING’ ABOUT CANCELLING 2026 ELECTIONS (Because Why Bother When You’re Winning This Bigly?)**…

Your Most Burning Questions About the Minneapolis Shooting That Makes You Wonder If Law Enforcement Is Even Trying Anymore, Answered
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Your Most Burning Questions About the Minneapolis Shooting That Makes You Wonder If Law Enforcement Is Even Trying Anymore, Answered

Big ElephantJanuary 17, 2026January 17, 2026

Tyrant Tim Walz and the Deep State’s Minions in Minneapolis are Having a Complete Meltdown because President Trump’s Glorious ICE…

GOP Repub: Heckler Suspension an oopsie but Donnie Flipping the Bird Was Totally Based, Says CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Repub: Heckler Suspension an oopsie but Donnie Flipping the Bird Was Totally Based, Says CNN Politics

Big ElephantJanuary 17, 2026January 17, 2026

LIBERAL MEDIA MELTDOWN: Trump Approval Ratings SOAR as CNN Panel Whines About Detroit Hero! The Deep State propaganda machine at…

Babylon Bee

Fellow Pop-Tarts Gather To Bow Down Before Preeminent Brown Sugar Pop-Tarts

FinnJanuary 17, 2026

    BROKEN BOW, OK — In a beautiful scene, fellow Pop-Tarts gathered on a kitchen table this morning to bow…

Babylon Bee

Trump Challenges Danish Prime Minister To Ping Pong Match, Winner Gets Greenland

FinnJanuary 17, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump has officially challenged Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen to a ping pong match, winner…

NASA and SpaceX Launch Mission to Search for Funding
Events

NASA and SpaceX Launch Mission to Search for Funding

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 17, 2026

🚀 Buckle up your couch potatoes! NASA’s next free ride to the ISS drops Feb. 15, 2026. 🚀 NASA is…

Webinaire gratuit ! Le LEAN va sauver l’éducation… et vos économies
Events

Webinaire gratuit ! Le LEAN va sauver l’éducation… et vos économies

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 17, 2026

Lean on Me at Cégep de Sainte-Foy 🇫🇷: Bernard Gagnon and Nathalie Larose dive into the “Shingo Model” on December…

Events

French Deeptech Founders Discover Customers Aren’t Just Angel Investors Paying for Vibes

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 17, 2026

🔥 Seed O’Clock: L’art de financer votre idee avant le premier café ☕️ Le 15 janvier 2026, on vous invite…

“Late-Night Money Grab Disguised as a House Party: Atlanta Edition”
Events

“Late-Night Money Grab Disguised as a House Party: Atlanta Edition”

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 17, 2026

ATLANTA – Every Friday, 10PM–3AM — 🚨 Sound the alarm: The Atlanta House Party – 106 & park edition has…

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Latest posts

  • Loser Britain still whining about their brilliant Brexit decision
  • Colombia foolishly elects Trump’s guy in ridiculously close vote obviously
  • RINO Alan Greenspan finally kicks the bucket at 100
  • Study Contends Free Will Disproven By Fact That Humans Repeatedly Eat At Jimmy John’s
  • U.K. Weighs Social Media Ban Of Everyone Except Old Men Who Grow Big Vegetables

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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