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Month: January 2026

Newsom Trolls Trump in Davos, So the President Hit Back With the Maturity of a 12-Year-Old on Xbox Live
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Newsom Trolls Trump in Davos, So the President Hit Back With the Maturity of a 12-Year-Old on Xbox Live

Big ElephantJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

GLOBALIST DAVOS ELITES SEETHING AS PRESIDENT TRUMP AMERICAS FIRST ALPHA MALE DOMINATES WORLD STAGE The World Economic Forum in Davos,…

Trump Chickens Out of Invading Greenland Because He Finally Looked at a Map
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Chickens Out of Invading Greenland Because He Finally Looked at a Map

Big ElephantJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

President Donald J. Trump, in a majestic display of sheer dominance and strategic genius, announces that he will graciously refrain…

ARCHITECTS Announce Spring 2026 U.S. Tour With Enough Tremolo Picks To Fix A Thousand Broken Mirrors, Drop Video For ‘Broken Mirror’
Breaking, Live, Music News

ARCHITECTS Announce Spring 2026 U.S. Tour With Enough Tremolo Picks To Fix A Thousand Broken Mirrors, Drop Video For ‘Broken Mirror’

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

Hold onto your neck braces and prepare your eardrums for the glorious return of the UK’s finest architects of chaos,…

STONE SOUR guitarist JOSH RAND’s THE L.I.F.E. PROJECT promises you a full-length album… right after the heat death of the universe in 2026
Breaking, Music News

STONE SOUR guitarist JOSH RAND’s THE L.I.F.E. PROJECT promises you a full-length album… right after the heat death of the universe in 2026

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

In the thunderous, eternal battle against the ever-looming threat of having actual release dates, THE L.I.F.E. PROJECT has emerged victorious…

Babylon Bee

College Team Credits Football Championship To Discipline, Teamwork, $370 Million

FinnJanuary 21, 2026

    MIAMI, FL — The Indiana Hoosiers credited their shocking college football championship victory to discipline, teamwork, and the $370…

Babylon Bee

Trump To Convert Entire City Of Minneapolis Into Insane Asylum

FinnJanuary 21, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of the executive order to bring back mental institutions, President Trump announced this morning…

This astronaut sculpture from an ex-physicist
Videos

This astronaut sculpture from an ex-physicist

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 21, 2026

Out of this world! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,”…

Hold onto your butts, Far Cry fans because Ubisoft is finally doing the one thing you’ve been begging for: not releasing a new game and instead just turning up the frame rate on the old ones
Breaking, Games News

Hold onto your butts, Far Cry fans because Ubisoft is finally doing the one thing you’ve been begging for: not releasing a new game and instead just turning up the frame rate on the old ones

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

🎉 Praise be, the Ubisoft overlords have finally stopped sacrificing our framerates to the dark gods of unoptimized code! 🎉…

Enshrouded Teases 1.0 Release Window and Roadmap, Gamers Finally Allowed to Leave the Shroud
Breaking, Games News

Enshrouded Teases 1.0 Release Window and Roadmap, Gamers Finally Allowed to Leave the Shroud

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Enshrouded Developers Finally Reveal That ‘Autumn 2026’ Is Actually Code for ‘Please Stop Asking Us For A Release…

The Nominees For the Worst Movie of the Year Are Here and honestly who cares
Breaking, Movie News

The Nominees For the Worst Movie of the Year Are Here and honestly who cares

FinnJanuary 21, 2026January 21, 2026

🚨 THE RAZZIE NOMINEES ARE HERE! 🚨 Cinephiles, grab your barf bags and prepare for a cinematic journey so terrible,…

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Editorial
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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
January 2026
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