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Month: January 2026

Gotham Gives Broke Hoops Fans Free Tickets Because Empty Seats Look Sad
Events

Gotham Gives Broke Hoops Fans Free Tickets Because Empty Seats Look Sad

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 16, 2026

The Prudential Center in Newark, NJ is transforming into a basketball battleground this Monday, January 19th. 🏀 Four elite teams—#19…

Events

Il Senso Si È Stancato Di LoDipietro, Manda Un Filo Rosso Dritto Dritto Al Fantasma Di Gramsci

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 16, 2026

Webinar del 15 Febbraio alle 18:00 su Zoom! Vi prego, fermatevi di inseguire obiettivi che non vi rappresentano davvero 🤡.…

Babylon Bee

Trump Holds Oval Office Summit With Prominent Muslim Leader

FinnJanuary 16, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C — According to sources, President Donald Trump met with a prominent Muslim leader in the Oval Office…

Events

More Like A Better View For The 1%—Forty Artists Beg You To Buy A Print

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 16, 2026

Saturday, January 17, 6PM–10PM, ABV Gallery in East Atlanta Village unleashes “A Better View”—a free spectacle featuring over 40 local…

26 Charged In Alleged College Basketball Fixing Scheme
The Onion

26 Charged In Alleged College Basketball Fixing Scheme

FinnJanuary 16, 2026

       Federal prosecutors secured indictments against 26 individuals they accused of rigging college basketball games, with the defendants facing charges…

Babylon Bee

To Save Time, Journalists Now Only Reporting On Any Free Agents The Dodgers Did Not Sign

FinnJanuary 16, 2026

    U.S. — To improve efficiency with their time management, sports journalists covering Major League Baseball announced that they would…

Babylon Bee

9 Easy Ways To Avoid Getting Attacked By Law Enforcement

FinnJanuary 16, 2026

    Civilians having encounters with law enforcement have been all over the news lately, leading some people to wonder what…

Babylon Bee

Kathleen Kennedy Sad To Leave Lucasfilm Before She Got The Chance To Make A Trilogy About Rey’s First Period

FinnJanuary 16, 2026

    SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Kathleen Kennedy was reportedly very sad to leave Lucasfilm before she had the chance to…

The Sims 4 Officially Announces The “Pay 40 Dollars to Bow Down to a Digital Duke” Update
Breaking, Games News

The Sims 4 Officially Announces The “Pay 40 Dollars to Bow Down to a Digital Duke” Update

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 16, 2026January 16, 2026

Throw away your microwave dinners and peasant-grade furniture, because The Sims 4 has finally decided that your Sims are too…

Hi-Fi Rush physical release lets you pre-order the game you were told you couldn’t own
Breaking, Games News

Hi-Fi Rush physical release lets you pre-order the game you were told you couldn’t own

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 16, 2026January 16, 2026

🚨Attention all rhythm game enthusiasts and collectors who still own DVD players in the year of our Lord 2026! 🚨…

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Latest posts

  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Picnic Fest in History aka The Great Nosh NYC Picnic Festival 2026 Where Youll Definitely Eat Too Much Food
  • ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae
  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry
  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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