WASHINGTON—Calling it a shocking attack on our nation’s cultural heritage, critics slammed President Donald Trump Monday for his decision to replace the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool’s original coconut flavor with blue raspberry. “For more than a century, a statue of Abraham Lincoln has gazed out over the reflecting pool that bears his name and that has been filled with the sweet, slightly creamy coconut flavor he adored,” said preservationist Marie Pagano, adding that the significance of coconuts in American history began in the years leading up to the Revolutionary War, when insurgent colonists frequently pelted British forces in highly coordinated coconut ambushes. “To see the pool filled with blue raspberry despite Lincoln’s lifelong opposition to sour, tangy flavors, is an obscenity. Each year, millions of National Mall tourists drink from the Reflecting Pool to share in the coconut undergirding our very democracy. The tart fruitiness will no doubt shock and offend them.” Pagano went on to say, however, that she was relieved the pool would remain highly carbonated, like the soda water Lincoln frequently enjoyed.
The post Trump Slammed For Replacing Reflecting Pool’s Original Coconut Flavor With Blue Raspberry appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Calling it a shocking attack on our nation’s cultural heritage, critics slammed President Donald Trump Monday for his decision to replace the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool’s original coconut flavor with blue raspberry. “For more than a century, a statue of Abraham Lincoln has gazed out over the reflecting pool that bears his name and that
The post Trump Slammed For Replacing Reflecting Pool’s Original Coconut Flavor With Blue Raspberry appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
