Immolation in Charlotte, NC (05/09/2026)
Death metal from Yonkers, New York Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…
Day: May 9, 2026
To Get Even More Foul Calls, Thunder Sub In Wacky Flailing Inflatable Tube Man
OKLAHOMA CITY, OK — In an attempt to somehow garner even more foul calls, the Oklahoma City Thunder have…
WWII Veteran Standing On Field Not Planned
KANSAS CITY, MO—Shuffling quietly near the third-base line as security officials scrambled to piece together a response, a frail…
Oh no, Iran’s big cheese is hiding under his turban
It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report that our great nation is still standing, despite…
Gabi Torres Basically Channels Her Inner Crazy Person to Make Overpriced Trinkets That Taylor Swift Totes Loves
Oh joy, another celebrity-endorsed jewelry brand that’s totally not just a bunch of overpriced sparkly rocks 🎉💎! Gabi Torres, the…
Because What the DC Universe Really Needs is Another Movie About Two Edgy Villains with Daddy Issues Trying to Outbrood Each Other
In a shocking turn of events, DC has decided to join forces two of its most iconic villains, Deathstroke and…
VENOM Trolls LAMB OF GOD Over Totally Not Ripoff Album Title and Honestly Who Cares Anyway
Oh boy, are you ready for some drama? 🤣 Because we’ve got a whole lot of it brewing in the…
Nancy Pelosi Says Stop Asking If Aliens Are Real Or She Will Order The Mothership To Fire Its Superlaser At Earth
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Representative Nancy Pelosi cautioned that if people persist in asking her whether aliens are real, she…
Oil Tanker Slips Anonymously Through Strait Of Hormuz By Adding Fake Nose And Mustache
MIDDLE EAST — An oil tanker has managed to slip through the Strait of Hormuz completely undetected after donning…
Taco Bell Releases Exciting New Way To Put Its Four Ingredients Together
U.S. — In what food scientists are calling “a breakthrough in modern cuisine,” Taco Bell has unveiled an incredible…