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Day: May 3, 2026

Fake news: United Airlines has another epic fail at Newark
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news: United Airlines has another epic fail at Newark

Big ElephantMay 3, 2026May 3, 2026

It’s 2026 and our great nation is still thriving under the incredible leadership of President Donald Trump, the best president…

Games Done Quick Somehow Manages To Not Fall Asleep At gamescom 2026 While Watching Speedrunners Play The Same Old Games For The Millionth Time
Breaking, Games News

Games Done Quick Somehow Manages To Not Fall Asleep At gamescom 2026 While Watching Speedrunners Play The Same Old Games For The Millionth Time

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 3, 2026May 3, 2026

Big news, gamers! 🚨👀 Games Done Quick is finally coming to gamescom in Germany, because who doesn’t love a good…

Ex METALLICA Bassist JASON NEWSTED Finally Finds Something More Painful Than Listening To LULU
Breaking, Music News

Ex METALLICA Bassist JASON NEWSTED Finally Finds Something More Painful Than Listening To LULU

Chord F. DiscordMay 3, 2026May 3, 2026

Breaking news, folks! 🚨😱 Former METALLICA bassist Jason Newsted has just announced that he’s been battling throat cancer, and we’re…

Breaking News: Super Extra Special Never Before Seen Totally Not Made Up 5 Hour Directors Cut of Gremlins Accidentally Leaks and Its 3 Hours Longer Than That Other Thing You Saw
Breaking, Movie News

Breaking News: Super Extra Special Never Before Seen Totally Not Made Up 5 Hour Directors Cut of Gremlins Accidentally Leaks and Its 3 Hours Longer Than That Other Thing You Saw

FinnMay 3, 2026May 3, 2026

The secret’s out, folks! 🤫 A never-before-seen, 2-and-a-half-hour cut of Gremlins, yes, you read that right, 2.5 hours of gremlin…

Breaking News: Slayer’s Tom Araya Trades In His Mic For A Checkered Flag And Is Now Officially The Coolest Guy At The Würth 400 In Texas Because Who Needs To Headbang When You Can Rev Engines
Breaking, Music News

Breaking News: Slayer’s Tom Araya Trades In His Mic For A Checkered Flag And Is Now Officially The Coolest Guy At The Würth 400 In Texas Because Who Needs To Headbang When You Can Rev Engines

Chord F. DiscordMay 3, 2026May 3, 2026

Big news, folks! 🚨👀 Tom Araya, the legendary lead vocalist and bassist of the iconic thrash metal band SLAYER, has…

Events

Isaiah Rashad Finally Drops It’s Been Awful So We Can All Relate to His Awfulness

Chuck B. BallsyMay 3, 2026

🎉 See Isaiah Rashad live in Brooklyn 🏙️ Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as…

1914 in Krakow, Poland (05/03/2026)
Videos

1914 in Krakow, Poland (05/03/2026)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 3, 2026

Blackened Death/Doom Metal from Ukraine Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

Babylon Bee

Emotional Passengers Board Final Spirit Airlines Flight For One Last All-Out Brawl

FinnMay 3, 2026

    FORT LAUDERDALE, FL — In a touching tribute to one of America’s most formative chapters in air travel, dozens…

Taylor Swift immediately after announcing her new album
Videos

Taylor Swift immediately after announcing her new album

Chuck B. BallsyMay 3, 2026

And Taylor is 47th in total private jet miles flown Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical…

California elitist buys governor seat with tech billionaire cash
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

California elitist buys governor seat with tech billionaire cash

Big ElephantMay 3, 2026May 3, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, the rest of the world has finally caught on to the fact that America…

Posts pagination

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Latest posts

  • TOM KEIFER Still Singing Cinderella Songs Because You Wont Let Him Retire
  • ORANGE ORACLE UNLEASHES FENTANYL GATE EXPOSE, UNCOVERS 1M DEADLY PILLS UNLEASHED ON AMERICA
  • SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue
  • Trump vows to punish scum who trashed our great nation’s pool
  • Steam Machine Pricing and Reservations Are Finally Here Because You Clearly Haven’t Spent Enough Money on Overpriced PC Hardware Already

Editorial
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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
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