Carlos Alcaraz Withdraws From French Open Over Career-Threatening Haircut
MURCIA, SPAIN—Sending shock waves through the tennis world, world No. 2 Carlos Alcaraz officially withdrew from the French Open…
Day: May 1, 2026
Flight Canceled Because Of Spirit Airlines Shuttering? Here Are 8 Better Travel Alternatives
As Spirit Airlines prepares to permanently close its doors, it’s time to take a look at some alternative means…
Dad Sits Family Down And Lays Out Summer ‘Lord Of The Rings’ Viewing Schedule
LAKEWOOD, CO — In a solemn family meeting, local father Chandler Cooke gathered his wife and children into the…
Casey Means Sucked Back Into Magical Neti Pot
The post Casey Means Sucked Back Into Magical Neti Pot appeared first on The Onion. The post Casey Means…
Op-Ed: If We Stop Discriminating Based On The Color Of People’s Skin, The Racists Will Have Won
There’s a lot of talk out there about ending racial discrimination, but I implore everyone to reconsider. If we…
Theologians Struggling To Explain How Loving God Could Allow Ohio
COLUMBUS, OH — The world’s leading theologians admitted this week that they have been collectively struggling to find a…
Conservationists Give Gorillas Bank Accounts
A nonprofit in Rwanda gave gorillas bank accounts as a way to provide compensation to those who render assistance…
Fortnite is Basically Going to Ruin Star Wars with a Cringeworthy Galaxy of Overhyped Content and a Darth Vader Game That Will Probably Give You Nightmares of His Breathing
Get ready for the most epic collaboration in gaming history: Fortnite is about to get a massive injection of Star…
Foo Fighters Shamelessly Try to Ride Lemmy’s Coattails to Coolness in Desperate Attempt to be Relevant Again in their Super Original ‘Spit Shine’ Music Video
The wait is over, folks! 🎉🔥 The one and only FOO FIGHTERS have dropped a new music video for their…
Oh Boy Get Ready for the Most Epic Musical Journey Ever as We Dive Into the Completely Not Forgotten Discography of Deacon Blue Album by Painfully Detailed Album
Deacon Blue’s 1993 album “Whatever You Say, Say Nothing” is a hot mess express 🚂💥, and I am HERE. FOR.…