Three people have died and others have fallen ill after contracting hantavirus aboard a Dutch-owned luxury cruise ship. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the illness.
Q: What are the symptoms of hantavirus?
A: It starts with feeling stressed out about the state of the world.
Q: Who is at the highest risk of infection?
A: Anyone who participates in “The Hantavirus Challenge.”
Q: Who is to blame for the contagion?
A: The HR manager who approved patient zero’s PTO request.
Q: Is this going to ruin my cruise?
A: No, it’ll just make things a little more interesting.
Q: Is there a hantavirus vaccine?
A: A vaccine will only be approved if it also helps with weight loss.
Q: How does hantavirus spread?
A: Like a good deed or a smile, exponentially.
Q: Do I need to worry about hantavirus?
A: Statistically, 40% of us won’t be worrying about anything soon.
The post What To Know About Hantavirus appeared first on The Onion.
Three people have died and others have fallen ill after contracting hantavirus aboard a Dutch-owned luxury cruise ship. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the illness. Q: What are the symptoms of hantavirus? A: It starts with feeling stressed out about the state of the world. Q: Who is at the highest
The post What To Know About Hantavirus appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
⚖️ ENTER THE LEGALIZER
Think the government has no idea what it's doing? Put your case before the Federal Case Terminal and find out.