Scientists Discover Nobody Has Ever Watched Netflix Without Scrolling for 40 Minutes First
JACKAL RESEARCH DIVISION REPORT #004 The Jackal Research Division has released the results of what experts are calling the largest…
Day: June 29, 2026
Stryper’s Michael Sweet Beats Cancer Because Prayer Works Obviously
Oh no, the world is definitely ending: Michael Sweet of Stryper has thyroid cancer… but don’t worry, he’s mostly fine,…
Yet Another Franchise Tease Because Originality Is Overrated
The new Supergirl movie is based on the recent DC miniseries, Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow. Because, of course, it is.…
You Won’t Believe What Just Happened at Supreme Court
The Supreme Court handed down some big decisions on Monday, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around them…
National Weather Service Announces Everyone Is Going To Die Tonight Or Absolutely Nothing Is Going To Happen, One Of The Two
SILVER SPRING, MD — The National Weather Service issued a weather alert on Monday announcing that tonight, everyone is…
White House Mocks Paltry Attendance At Democrats’ Great American State Fair
WASHINGTON—Expressing delight at the complete humiliation of their political opponents, White House officials on Monday gleefully mocked the paltry…
ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: THE ORANGE ORACLE hails Supreme Court’s monumental ruling as greatest power boost in 100 years
Today, the Supreme Court made a historic decision that THE ORANGE ORACLE, also known as President Donald J. Trump, has…
Bulletboys Reunite Because Your Midlife Crisis Needs Soundtrack
I just spilled my beer all over my Iron Maiden t-shirt because I’m so shocked… just kidding, I’m not that…
Cyberpunk Edgerunners 2 Because You Clearly Needed More
Oh joy, another season of Cyberpunk: Edgerunners, because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet. Netflix has dropped the…
Wow, Gamers Still Find Stuff on Phones Somehow in 2026
Oh joy, mobile users are discovering new apps and games in all sorts of exciting ways, because apparently we haven’t…