National Weather Service Announces Everyone Is Going To Die Tonight Or Absolutely Nothing Is Going To Happen, One Of The Two
SILVER SPRING, MD — The National Weather Service issued a weather alert on Monday announcing that tonight, everyone is…
Month: June 2026
White House Mocks Paltry Attendance At Democrats’ Great American State Fair
WASHINGTON—Expressing delight at the complete humiliation of their political opponents, White House officials on Monday gleefully mocked the paltry…
ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: THE ORANGE ORACLE hails Supreme Court’s monumental ruling as greatest power boost in 100 years
Today, the Supreme Court made a historic decision that THE ORANGE ORACLE, also known as President Donald J. Trump, has…
Bulletboys Reunite Because Your Midlife Crisis Needs Soundtrack
I just spilled my beer all over my Iron Maiden t-shirt because I’m so shocked… just kidding, I’m not that…
Cyberpunk Edgerunners 2 Because You Clearly Needed More
Oh joy, another season of Cyberpunk: Edgerunners, because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet. Netflix has dropped the…
Wow, Gamers Still Find Stuff on Phones Somehow in 2026
Oh joy, mobile users are discovering new apps and games in all sorts of exciting ways, because apparently we haven’t…
Alien Isolation 2: Because One Traumatizing Experience Wasnt Enough Apparently
It’s been over a decade since Alien: Isolation first traumatized gamers with its masterclass in tension and terror, and now…
You Won’t Believe What Happened to This Pro Trans Lawmaker
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about California state Sen. Scott Wiener, who got surrounded by protesters at San…
7 Tips For Europeans To Stay Cool Without Air Conditioning
Europeans typically do without air conditioning, presumably because they are perpetually stuck in the Dark Ages and far more…
Woman Rules It’s Okay To Be Late
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A woman judge has ruled that being late is “totally fine.” Read More FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated…