European Metal Festivals Be Like
SPF 50 wasn't enough Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,”…
Month: June 2026
Justice Sotomayor gets VIP treatment from Bad Bunny’s crew somehow
Folks, I’m reading this article about the Supreme Court justices’ financial disclosures, and I have to say, it’s been a…
Local Church Under Fire For ‘Book Of Judges’ VBS Theme
MARBLE FALLS, TX — A local church found itself under fire this week after this year’s Vacation Bible School…
Oh great another shooting happens in Germany
Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a shooting at a youth welfare facility in Stade, Germany, and let…
THE ORACLE SPEAKS: THE ORANGE ORACLE boasts Reflecting Pool revival after vandal damage
The ORANGE ORACLE has spoken, and the nation is once again filled with hope and patriotism. In a recent Transmission…
Kansas City Royals Somehow Find Way To Lose On Day When They Didn’t Play
KANSAS CITY, MO — In an achievement unprecedented in the history of Major League Baseball, the Kansas City Royals…
Scientists Discover Nobody Has Ever Watched Netflix Without Scrolling for 40 Minutes First
JACKAL RESEARCH DIVISION REPORT #004 The Jackal Research Division has released the results of what experts are calling the largest…
Stryper’s Michael Sweet Beats Cancer Because Prayer Works Obviously
Oh no, the world is definitely ending: Michael Sweet of Stryper has thyroid cancer… but don’t worry, he’s mostly fine,…
Yet Another Franchise Tease Because Originality Is Overrated
The new Supergirl movie is based on the recent DC miniseries, Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow. Because, of course, it is.…
You Won’t Believe What Just Happened at Supreme Court
The Supreme Court handed down some big decisions on Monday, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around them…