EMTs To Be Stationed Near Spurs Bench Next Game To Prevent Choking
SAN ANTONIO, TX — For the health and safety of the team’s players, the San Antonio Spurs will be…
Month: June 2026
Xbox to Finally Release Console That Will Definitely Not Catch on Fire and Only Occasionally Freeze in 2027 Maybe Possibly Hopefully
Big News, Folks! 🚨 XBOX is Having a Major Meltdown 🤯 and We Can’t Look Away 🍿. It seems like…
The Elder Scrolls 6 Is Definitely Not Vaporware and Will Totally Be Released Before the Heat Death of the Universe According to XBOX CCO Matt Booty Who Definitely Isn’t Just Trying to Get You to Buy an XBOX
It’s finally been eight whole years since XBOX announced The Elder Scrolls 6 at E3 2018, and we’ve got a…
Bill Gates Brought Before Congress To Answer For Epstein, Windows Vista
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Microsoft founder and former CEO Bill Gates was brought before the United States Congress this week…
Nancy Mace Introduces Bill To Separate Gubernatorial Races By Gender
The post Nancy Mace Introduces Bill To Separate Gubernatorial Races By Gender appeared first on The Onion. The post…
Least Popular Sport In The World Holds Little Tournament
U.S. — The least popular sport in the world is hosting a tiny little tournament for the few people…
Trump Boys Bulk Up For UFC Fight By Chugging Sour Cream
The post Trump Boys Bulk Up For UFC Fight By Chugging Sour Cream appeared first on The Onion. The…
The Most Overhyped Kdrama of the Century That Will Obviously Win All the Awards and Be Remembered for Eternity Due to Its Mindblowing Plot and Super Unique Name Snowdrop
The most legendary band in the universe, MONO, has just released a new album and it’s so good that you’ll…
5 Super Obvious Ways to Save Money on Gaming That You Definitely Haven’t Already Thought Of Because You’re Clearly a Responsible Adult Who Doesn’t Spend All Their Paycheck on Loot Boxes
Gamers are spending more than ever, but who needs personal financial responsibility, right? 🤑 According to Circana, total U.S. video…
AOC’s pathetic presidential pipe dream begins with road test farce
Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be talking about the latest…