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Month: July 2026

Trump Takes Ax To Election Assistance Commission Leadership Suddenly
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Takes Ax To Election Assistance Commission Leadership Suddenly

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

Folks, I’m sitting here with my morning coffee, reading about the White House firing the leadership of the Election Assistance…

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social on given date and number
The Orange Oracle

ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald posts on Truth Social on given date and number

Milton TruthwellJuly 9, 2026

The ORANGE ORACLE has spoken, and the people of Palm Beach, Florida, have responded in kind. In a shocking turn…

Israel saves Trump from Iranian hitmen because of course they did
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Israel saves Trump from Iranian hitmen because of course they did

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this one. Apparently, Israel shared some intel with…

GOP Nominates Humanitarian With ‘High-Risk’ Label, Because That’s Going Well
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Nominates Humanitarian With ‘High-Risk’ Label, Because That’s Going Well

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

I was sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news from Colorado, where Marine veteran Victor Marx has won…

Planned Parenthood Regains Federal Funding
The Onion

Planned Parenthood Regains Federal Funding

FinnJuly 9, 2026

       Planned Parenthood regained access to federal funding for non-abortion care after a ban in the One Big Beautiful Bill…

The Worst Time to Leave the Crowd
Videos

The Worst Time to Leave the Crowd

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 9, 2026

Never underestimate the opening band Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

RUSH Hits Madison Square Garden Get Tickets Now
Live

RUSH Hits Madison Square Garden Get Tickets Now

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2026

RUSH bring their “Fifty Something” reunion tour to Madison Square Garden for four nights this summer — Tuesday, July 28th,…

Graham Platner quits Senate bid suddenly becomes less interesting
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Graham Platner quits Senate bid suddenly becomes less interesting

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading about Graham Platner’s exit from the Maine Senate race. It’s been a wild…

‘Love Island’ Contestant Under Fire After Newly Surfaced Photos Show Him Wearing Shirt
The Onion

‘Love Island’ Contestant Under Fire After Newly Surfaced Photos Show Him Wearing Shirt

FinnJuly 9, 2026

       MAMANUCA ISLANDS, FIJI—In a revelation that prompted widespread calls for producers to remove him from the reality show’s villa, Love…

Iron Maiden Snubs Rock Hall Induction Ceremony Anyway
Live, Music News

Iron Maiden Snubs Rock Hall Induction Ceremony Anyway

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2026

After years of being snubbed, Iron Maiden were finally announced as a Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductee earlier…

Posts pagination

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Latest posts

  • Trump Pays Respects While Mulling Next Move On Iran
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Trump’s energy security plans deemed vital to western future
  • Lawmakers Get to Keep Trading Stocks Because Who Needs Ethics Anyway
  • Democrats Set Sights On Nevada And South Carolina Again Somehow
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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
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