Overdue Library Book Returned After 99 Years
Read MoreThe OnionAn 81-year-old woman returned an overdue book to a New Jersey library after discovering it among her grandfather’s…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Federal Judge Orders Astronauts Be Returned To Space Station
U.S. — A district judge has issued a ruling saying Trump lacked the Constitutional authority to pick up two astronauts…
Oversized Leprechaun Hat Left At Home On St. Patrick’s Day To Avoid Damaging It
Read MoreThe OnionCLEVELAND—Concluding that the rewards simply weren’t worth the risks, local man Tim Fitzpatrick told reporters Monday that he…
Mormon Wife Designs Future Planet On Pinterest
BOISE, ID — Local Mormon wife and mother of two Hadleigh Christensen spent a lazy Sunday afternoon using Pinterest to…
Single Woman Constantly Stressed With No Man Around To Tell Her To Relax
VIRGINIA BEACH, VA — Local single woman Michelle Denton continues to be perpetually stressed out as she sadly has no…
Biblical Scholars Now Believe Jesus Will Return Again 13 Days After Second Coming To Pick Up Orthodox Believers
U.S. — After years of examining the texts about the second coming of Christ, Bible scholars now believe that Jesus…
128 New Moons Found Orbiting Saturn
Read MoreThe OnionAstronomers have discovered over 100 additional moons orbiting Saturn, bringing the gas giant’s total to 274. What do…
Russia Says It Will Agree To Ceasefire As Soon As It’s Done Conquering Ukraine
MOSCOW — In an encouraging development for the seemingly deadlocked negotiations, Russia now says that it would agree to a…
JD Vance’s French Horn Solo Booed At Kennedy Center
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Failing to receive the reaction he anticipated from audience members, JD Vance was booed at the John F.…
Dad Issues Kids Night Vision Goggles So Family Never Has To Turn On A Light Again
HOULTON, ME — Local man Chris Porter stumbled upon an incredible life hack to reduce his family’s electric bill after…