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Category: Babylon Bee

‘The View’ Ratings Soar After Introducing Ejection Seat For When Hosts Make Inaccurate Statements
Babylon Bee

‘The View’ Ratings Soar After Introducing Ejection Seat For When Hosts Make Inaccurate Statements

November 25, 2024

NEW YORK, NY — Following what had been a tumultuous election season and notable instances of panel members having to…

It’s Official: Trump Now Has Hottest Cabinet Of All Time
Babylon Bee

It’s Official: Trump Now Has Hottest Cabinet Of All Time

November 25, 2024

PALM BEACH, FL — Less than one month after the presidential election and still eight weeks away from his inauguration,…

Insane Conspiracy Theorist Doesn’t Believe In Dragons
Babylon Bee

Insane Conspiracy Theorist Doesn’t Believe In Dragons

November 24, 2024

RENO, NV — Local conspiracy theorist Joy Behar went on an unhinged rant this morning, professing to a friend that…

Local Man Passes Bar Exam After Just One Week Of Watching ‘The View’
Babylon Bee

Local Man Passes Bar Exam After Just One Week Of Watching ‘The View’

November 23, 2024

KANSAS CITY, MO — Local man Kevin Marlow successfully passed the bar exam today, after preparing by simply watching The…

Musk Announces Plan To Buy MSNBC And Turn It Into A News Network
Babylon Bee

Musk Announces Plan To Buy MSNBC And Turn It Into A News Network

November 23, 2024

U.S. — In a dramatic move that could shake up the media industry, Elon Musk has announced his intent to…

After Playing Steve In Minecraft Movie, Jack Black to Play Lara Croft
Babylon Bee

After Playing Steve In Minecraft Movie, Jack Black to Play Lara Croft

November 23, 2024

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Following his portrayal as Steve in the Minecraft movie, Jack Black has announced that he has just…

Scholars Discover Little-Known Bible Verse Authorizing Divorce If Spouse Plays Christmas Music Before Thanksgiving
Babylon Bee

Scholars Discover Little-Known Bible Verse Authorizing Divorce If Spouse Plays Christmas Music Before Thanksgiving

November 22, 2024

CAMBRIDGE — Though it was long thought to be prohibited except for reasons of sexual immorality, Bible scholars now say…

America Is Toast: Here Are 9 More A-List Celebs Who Are Leaving
Babylon Bee

America Is Toast: Here Are 9 More A-List Celebs Who Are Leaving

November 22, 2024

With Hollywood mainstays like Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi escaping the hostility of the United States, how can America…

Joe Rogan Says If Dragons Aren’t Real Then What Was He Riding Through Hyperspace While Smoking Pot With The Machine Elves Last Night?
Babylon Bee

Joe Rogan Says If Dragons Aren’t Real Then What Was He Riding Through Hyperspace While Smoking Pot With The Machine Elves Last Night?

November 22, 2024

AUSTIN, TX — Comedian and podcaster Joe Rogan, a professed believer in dragons, pushed back against naysayers by presenting a…

Court Overturns Jussie Smollett Hoax Conviction Due To Evidence America Actually Is MAGA Country
Babylon Bee

Court Overturns Jussie Smollett Hoax Conviction Due To Evidence America Actually Is MAGA Country

November 22, 2024

SPRINGFIELD, IL — The Illinois Supreme Court announced yesterday that it had overturned disgraced actor Jussie Smollett’s conviction on charges…

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  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

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