Category: The Onion

    Read MoreThe OnionSAN FRANCISCO—In response to ongoing concerns regarding the safety of its female passengers, rideshare giant Uber reportedly introduced…

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post NIH Director’s Pulsing Neck Tumor Announces Cancer Research Cuts appeared first on The Onion.   FinnFinn McFrame,…

    Read MoreThe OnionCAMBRIDGE, MA—Describing the practice as “vital to player development,” researchers at Harvard University published a study Monday that…

    Read MoreThe OnionARLINGTON, TX—Panicking at the realization that their personal reputations had been directly tied to the team’s dismal performance…

    Read MoreThe OnionElon Musk was temporarily overtaken as the world’s richest person by Oracle cofounder Larry Ellison after the company’s…

    Read MoreThe OnionTreasury Secretary Scott Bessent erupted at top housing finance official Bill Pulte during a private dinner, threatening to…

    Read MoreThe OnionLONDON—Promising a “dark, brooding romance,” Wuthering Heights director Emerald Fennell assured fans Thursday that her new movie would be a…

    Read MoreThe OnionLONDON—Admitting complete ignorance as to the mysterious origins of the creatures, the Association of Tennis Professionals revealed to…

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Lab Rat appeared first on The Onion.   FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of…

    Read MoreThe OnionApple picking is a fun and festive way for the whole family to enjoy the scenic autumn season.…