According to a new AAA report, a record number of Americans plan to travel 50 miles or more for the holidays this year. The Onion examines the key facts and figures behind Thanksgiving travel.
60,000
Redeemed airline miles wasted on round-trip flight to Ohio
2
Oven-roasted whole turkeys each passenger allowed to carry on
4 a.m.
Time aunt is serving dinner this year so nobody hits traffic
3.375
Terabytes of data used by mothers reminding their adult sons to pack a nice sweater
158 lbs
Minimum amount of turkey needed in vehicle to justify using the carpool lane
C19
Your newly assigned gate on the opposite side of the fucking airport
3 BPM
Heart rate of grandpa in the backseat
100:1
Odds the meal isn’t worth this shit
The post Thanksgiving Travel By The Numbers appeared first on The Onion.
According to a new AAA report, a record number of Americans plan to travel 50 miles or more for the holidays this year. The Onion examines the key facts and figures behind Thanksgiving travel. 60,000 Redeemed airline miles wasted on round-trip flight to Ohio 2 Oven-roasted whole turkeys each passenger allowed to carry on 4
The post Thanksgiving Travel By The Numbers appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.