Scorpions: Still Stinging After All These Years (Like a Really Annoying Bee)
OMG! 😱 The geriatric rockers SCORPIONS, still clinging to life after SIX DECADES (👴👴👴), are unleashing “From The First Sting”,…
Tag: Albums
Iron Maiden Gets Minted: Officially Older Than Your Dad’s Coin Collection
The Royal Mint, bless their cotton socks, has decided to slap IRON MAIDEN‘s mug on a coin. 🙄 Apparently, these…
DANKO JONES Burps Out New Single ‘Diamond In The Rough’ Featuring Some Guy Named MARTY FRIEDMAN
Behold, the mighty (and I use that term VERY loosely) DANKO JONES, Toronto’s (allegedly) hardest-hitting rock ‘n’ roll trio, is…
MY DYING BRIDE Finally Kicks Out Vocalist (Who Even Knew He Was Still In the Band?)
MY DYING BRIDE, the band that makes funerals sound like a rave, has finally decided to ditch their lead singer,…
OMG! Remember After Forever? Mark Jansen’s Old Band (Pre-Epica, LOL) Reunites for Some 25th-Anniversary Gigs
So, Mark Jansen’s band before the one everyone actually cares about, AFTER FOREVER, decided to dust off their instruments and…
The Smashing Pumpkins and Erewhon Team Up to make a $22 Smoothie for Terminally Online Goths
OMG! 🤣 THE SMASHING PUMPKINS, those elder statesmen of mope rock, have apparently crawled out of their crypt just in…
Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 Finally Sells Enough Copies to Pay for Someone’s Coffee
Oh my freaking god, hold the phone 📱! Apparently, *Clair Obscur: Expedition 33* – you know, that game nobody actually…
HATEBREED’s Matt Byrne Boasts Next Album Is, Like, Almost Done or Something
So, get this, at the geriatric mosh pit they call Aftershock festival 👴 in Sacramento, California, HATEBREED drummer Matt Byrne…
The Offspring and BAD RELIGION: Geriatric Throwdown 2026
OMG! THE OFFSPRING, those geriatric punk rockers from the ’90s (👴🏻🎸), are apparently still alive and kicking! 🤣 They’re dragging…
Ace Frehley Aborts Mission 2025: Blames It On The Space Flu Again
OMG! Ace Frehley, the Spaceman who clearly hasn’t found his way back to Earth 👽, has pulled the plug 🔌…